Split
by Scottea
Summary: When an officer is shattered after a rescue mission it is up to Kirk, Spock, and the crew to help him fully recover before the higher echelon ask questions about the events. Some slightly graphic details in the first chapter: from chapter 2 the action and reactions start.
1. Chapter 1

"Have you got the price agreed upon?"

"Have you got the proof?"

"From when it arrived for the sale to this morning." The man held out one hand for payment and held the disc in his other hand.

"Where are they now?"

"They are still there. From what I have heard they are to be there all week. I have asked to take possession. He knows he cannot take it with him and it is such a magnificent thing to behold as you will see. Such a fine piece. It is so unusual to get one as they are most protective of their registration discs but it only adds to the supply."

James Kirk had seldom felt the need for a shower as he did after dealing with the thick-set man walking away with the agreed upon payment of three bottles of Tylophian aged wine.

He walked slowly to the hotel that he and McCoy had booked into and went to the room and to the media player. He was thankful McCoy had returned to the ship as he did not want his friend to see what he suspected was on the disc.

At first he wondered if he had been sold what he did not want as all the start of the disc showed was the scenes before the auction, the people arriving, the unloading of the slaves, the sales tables of things slave masters might need to deal with their latest purchases, the cluster of prospective buyers lurking around where the exotics were first shown. It was clear that there was a large interest in the exotics as most were covered as they were taken into the examination area It showed some exotics resisting being taken into the area and others, most likely, Kirk realized, drugged, calmly following where they were led. He saw smaller groups gather around individual beings and often saw a slave being lead to the sales by one or more people and sold to another who would then sell it.

What caught his eye was two men leading a being in a hooded robe as it was clear that slave had some fight as the more thick-set man in a distinctive outfit clearly had a leash to a collar and the other a rope to bound wrists. A third man approached them, reached in and obviously manually inspected the being. Whatever the man did the slave reacted and they all laughed. Without hesitation the solo man handed a box to the man holding the leash who, after he had looked in the box, handed the man the leash and the other man handed him the rope. There was something said and the man placed the box on the ground and reached out to the poor being and Kirk saw the three laugh as the man was clearly fondling and arousing the slave before he slapped its face and, after picking up te box and starting to walk away, turned and struck the slave on the buttocks hard enough to make it stagger then he and the other man walked away laughing.

He pushed the fast forward to the exotics and felt sick about what he was seeing. He knew it owed it to Spock to find out what had happened to him. The casual way the man talked about breeding the exotics, about what each exotic was best at made Kirk wonder why they were not blasting the planet out of existence. He started not looking and only hearing sound bites knowing he would know when they were talking about Spock.

He opened his eyes and hit stop at hearing "a hybrid Vulcan male" and backspaced till he saw the smile on the auctioneer's face as he said, "And here we have a most and exquisite creature, a hybrid Vulcan male in his prime," Kirk drew in his breath as Spock was lead onto the stage naked. "Notice the fine lines, the muscular quality, and, of course, his asset." Laughing the man had stood behind Spock and stroked his penis till it was erect and hard and Kirk could see the shame in his friend's eyes. "And if I may now have a volunteer to come and show us how well he responds to being touched. Imagine from his reactions what it will be like to be the first to mount and claim him as his master. Surely the fact that he has never been claimed is an added luxury to this fine framed slave." A solidly built man stood up and went behind Spock. Kirk saw behind the Vulcan mask shock and horror flash across his friends face as the large hands methodically and thoroughly rubbed him from his head to his feet, taking time to stroke his ears and his penis. "Come, all who want, and feel free to inspect this fine slave." Perhaps fifty people were there and many were poking and prodding Spock, looking in his mouth, pulling on his ears, joking about what they would do with him as though he were nothing.

" **ENOUGH!** Back away from **my** **property**!" Kirk watched a man stride through the crowd making no apology for his abruptness and up to the man selling Spock, "What did you pay for **my property**?"

"How do I know it is yours?" the man holding the leash flashed at him, "What can it tell me to know it is yours?"

The man looked levelly at Spock, "Ask it about my special marking."

The man holding the leash slapped Spock three times then had him look at the man,

"Who is this and what is his marking."

Jim Kirk saw his friend strain to look at the man, could see he was trying to remember. It was clear to Kirk that Spock had been drugged and yet was trying to remember somebody he may have seen somewhere at some time. Even watching him on the recording Kirk could tell that Spock had some recollection of the man. Kirk knew that he had not met the man as he was sure that he would have remembered such a commanding presence and he knew he knew no slave owner. That man's very presence was commanding and he was clearly was confident and obviously unintimidated by the others there. It was also very clear that the man was used to dealing with buying, selling, dealing with, and owning slaves. Kirk saw it was clear he wanted Spock and was using the old ruse of a stolen piece of property to get him. As he looked at the man he knew that he knew nobody who owned slaves, nobody who looked or acted even remotely like this man, and he knew that Spock would not have associated with those who dealt in any way with any form of slavery. .

"His, his name is Angus."

"How is he marked?"

"Jagged scar left lower ribs to right of penis."

"Do you,"

Before the slaver had finished the question the man had, as though it were the most natural thing to do, lowered his pants and raised his shirt enough to expose a jagged scar from just below his ribs on the left to the right side of his penis. The man holding the leash to Spock looked stunned then reached out and savagely pinched at the middle of the scar, obviously to convince himself it was real. Kirk saw the slightest of twitch of the man's shoulders as it was pinched a second time.

"It is recent?"

"About six standard months ago."

"How does this know of it?"

"He attended to it."

"A slave with many talents is valuable but truly it is yours. Only a pleasure slave, a real pleasure slave so, so very familiar with its master, would know of such a thing." Still, acting as though he dressed in front of others all the time, the man pulled up his pants and held out his hand for the leash. "Your manner truly bespeaks of a master who knows how to deal with spirited slaves like Vulcans can be."

"What did you pay for my property as I will not see you lose money on it. It was stolen four standard days ago." The man took the leash from the other man who had not released it freely.

"I only recently purchased it. I had no idea it was stolen. All I was told was it had not been mounted as it was new to the life." Kirk did not see the amount of credits that passed hands but obviously the slaver was well pleased. The slaver looked at Spock, "Such a one to mount the first time would be such an honor as it will still have some spirit. He will give much pleasure even when claimed a thousand times. Such fine lines and muscular formation. To be able to stroke such a," he reached out and started to rub his hand from Spock's chest over his abdomen and Kirk felt fury building in him and saw the shame again in the eyes of his friend.

Swiftly the man who now claimed Spock reached out and gripped the slaver's fingers and bent them back, " **Nobody** touches my property! **Nobody!** " Without a backwards look the man led Spock away. The throng of people parted and let him walk through leading Spock like some prized animal. One man, a man is a dress suit took a step forward saying, You have a prize exotic stud there." and had reached out to touch Spock when Angus had suddenly turned and gripped the man's arm and then slowly, almost deliberately, turned him completely around, ripping off the sleeve from his jacket revealing the word **_BEING_** tattooed on the man's forearm. Then, for some obscure reason he moved Spock so that the man also turned again, then said, "Try that again and **I will rip off your arm** and not just the sleeve."

Kirk shook his head in annoyance, not clear enough to see the face of the man who had approached them. If he had seen the face, had more of a way of tracking the man, there was nothing that would have stopped him going down. The man was dressed slightly better than others but clothes can be so easily changed that aspect would not help.

The thought that Spock knew the new man who had claimed his as his property kept coming back to Kirk yet he was sure he knew no slave owners. Spock had to have known the man to know of the scar. The scar. In the depth of his mind Kirk felt a memory stir: he now felt he had seen the man before but could not place him.

The next scene was in a bedroom and Spock was on the bed with only a sheet over him, clearly still mildly drugged. The man who bought him walked up to the bed, got in and Kirk felt like retching as he saw the man obviously raping his best friend. It was not love, it was not sex, it was plain cruel rape. Momentarily Kirk turned off the machine and got up.

Four days ago. They had been sent here with the dignitaries and told to wait the whole five days of the conference. How annoyed he had been at having the Enterprise again used as little more than a interplanetary taxi. Now he was furious. To lose Spock on an unknown planet would have been one thing but this, this knowing what had befallen his friend and knowing he could do nothing was more than he could deal with. He calmed himself with the breathing exercises Spock had taught him. At least they would soon be rid of those guests.

Once slightly calmed Kirk sat back down and switched the machine back on only to see the rape continue. The rest of the disk showed the same thing at different times, the casual raping of his friend by some deviant who enjoyed it. He turned off the display but could not get the image of Spock being repeatedly raped out of his mind.

Only Mister Scott's interruption to remind him of the delay in transporting the guests back to the ship made him calm down and not smash the disc. Years of training and knowing how Spock would hate to disrupt negotiations made him pull himself together. He had to escort Admiral Winters and his aide back to the Enterprise and then take them to Starbase Fourteen. It had been a long week and he knew he would be glad to be rid of the Admiral the Ambassador, and his aide and get back to normal.

No, not the old normal but somehow he had to go on in a new normal and he would face that once he had the time.

As they waited for the Ambassador and Admiral the Ambassador's aide looked at Kirk, "Did you find your missing officer, Kirk?"

"No."

The man shook his head, "That is a pity but this is a hands-off planet, Kirk, even if you should find who you are looking for if they are the property of another they cannot leave the planet. Many who go missing from their ships while down here become stock, many for breeding. They somehow misplace their identification disc and cannot leave as there is no official proof as to who they are. As you recall we were all given one when we beamed down. So many species, human among them, enjoy the pleasure of owning another for many reasons. Apparently exotics, which Mister Spock would be classified as, fetch the best price especially if they are new and young." The aide had obviously known he wanted to tear the city apart looking for Spock. "I know Admiral Winters has been here often but never taken time to enjoy a stay here with some company. You must accept that your former officer is now the property of another and cannot leave the planet. Those that become property do have their uses in many ways and have helped build the planet. Just know he will be of assistance to the people."

As they were walking out of the government office a man came up to the aide and said, "I look forward to your next visit if what you gave me the other day is representative of what you can supply."

"I will not have time to bring you anything new for another one hundred and seventy-nine standard days."

"I will wait till then. Only now do I realize I was a fool to sell it for the price I got. I have since been told it was worth significantly more.."

"Such things usually are, my friend. Quality these days is rare."

After the man had gone the aide looked at Kirk and laughed, "You give them something that is from off-world and new to them and they think you are amazing. It is astonishing that they want to join the Federation as they have nothing of real value apart from the great rest and recreational facilities that, with membership, would have to be slightly modified and monitored. The Ambassador made it quite clear that they could still have places of pleasure but all that worked in the industry would have to be registered with regular inspections. They could have indentured workers but no new slaves. No doubt in the next year there will be a rush to get exotic slaves for the entertainment business as once that accord is signed only the slaves who have been here for a year and are an established part of the society will remain as slaves with the rest repatriated to their home planets. It would be a tragedy if Mister Spock were one of those unfortunates."

An uneasy feeling he had for some time about the aide niggled at him. From when they had come aboard the man had shown his vast knowledge about the region and the laws related to acceptance into the Federation. It seemed he also knew more about the planet than he had said. He knew that aides were meant to have a comprehensive knowledge but there was just something about the man that niggled at him

Back onboard the Enterprise he felt the love and support of the others, also stunned by Spock's disappearance and the insistence they leave on time as they were allowed no more searching.

Three hours out the Ambassador, Admiral Winters and his aide walked onto the bridge as they watched that wretched planet vanish from view, "Captain Kirk," the Ambassador addressed Kirk and he stood, "I am sure I speak for all of both the Federation and StarFleet when I say that the loss of an officer of Mister Spock's standing is most regrettable. It is unfortunate that it happened at all but at this time in particular as it was used in our negotiations as an example of why their use of slaves had to stop. They agreed that they would have, as they termed it, enough varied producers and breeders to provide the needed indentured workers for all their industries. They will still be a major rest and recreation place but will also concentrate on its growing agricultural and horticultural aspects as it is an ideal planet for such much needed supplies. Once again I am sorry to hear of what befell Mister Spock and can only imagine how you and the crew must be feeling." Kirk had nodded as he did not know what to say. The Ambassador and nodded back in silent understanding. Admiral Winters nodded at him as well before he and the Ambassador left the bridge.

Three point seven hours out Uhura turned to Kirk, ignoring the Admiral's aide, "Sir, I am picking up a distress signal from a small craft"

"Let's hear it.

"Enterprise, Enterprise this is," there was a pause, "Scar. Am in need of assistance."

"Enterprise, Enterprise this is Scar. Am in need of assistance

"Enterprise, Enterprise this is Scar. Am in need of assistance. Respond."

"Up oh," Sulu shook his head and looked at Kirk, "I think you will find we left a crewman behind, Sir."

The aide looked at Kirk, "Does this happen often?"

"No." Kirk was furious. His crew knew better. When this Scar character got aboard,

Scar. Scar. There were no Officers with the name Scar. What was so, He found he had held his breath. Spock said the man had a scar.

Kirk walked over to the Communications Officer and picked up an earpiece, "Uhura get me McCoy."

"What is it Jim?"

"Have you recently operated on an officer in the lower body?"

"Don't you remember Angus Wishart about six months back? You were almost going to spend you life singing soprano on Ganna Fid Three or the Halls of Valhalla after that drunk charged at you with a knife and Wishart blocked him. Left him with a scar from the bottom of his ribs on the left all the way to the right side of his penis, very ragged and infected for about eighteen days. It will be obvious to anybody who gets that personal with him as for some reason he had a reaction to Dermaskin and a lengthy scar is visible. You were damned lucky that day."

"Thanks. Kirk out." For a moment two images clashed in his mind. Angus Wishart looked and acted nothing like that, that creature Scar. There was no way, absolutely no way it could be the same person. They were two very different: Wishart was a friendly, relaxed, and non-violent person while this Scar creature had shown himself to be cold and brutal self-centered thing. He could have Wishart paged but that shuttle needed assistance and he had something to say and do to that, that thing asking for assistance, "Scotty, put a tractor beam on that craft and bring it to shuttle bay two. Have McCoy meet me there."

"Well, Kirk, did you find out who it is?"

"Yes. Go see the Admiral. I will contact both of you later."

"Well rather than disturbing the Admiral with this matter I will want to see this officer and find out his reasons for going to the planet when the planet is a restricted planet to all but senior officers. He better have a damned good reason."

From his tone Kirk knew the man was as annoyed as he was but for possibly very different reasons. "Fine, I will notify you later when he can be questioned," Kirk has said as he left the bridge, adding mentally, "if I leave anything you can question."

At the door to the shuttle bay he looked at McCoy and the others. "Do not come in until I tell you to."

"But,"

"That's an order. **This is personal.** "


	2. Chapter 2

It was a small craft and as soon as Scar was about to step down off the last step of the steps from the craft Kirk attacked him, catching him off-guard. All the anger he felt from how he had seen his friend abused came out in his fists and hands. "For what you did you did to Spock **I am going to rip you apart**. I saw what you did to him." He slammed the officer against the side of the craft and glared at him as his fury poured out. "I watched you. I saw what you repeatedly did to him." Almost as though his body was racing to keep up with his mental desire for revenge Kirk's left knee slammed upward between the man's legs and he drove his right fist deep into the officer's lower abdomen. The primal rage seemed to come from so deep inside him it was uncontrollable as he grabbed one of the being's arms with both his hand and used all his body weight to fling him into some equipment on the far wall. Through the haze of fury he saw the officer's back slam hard into some of the equipment on the wall, heard the thud and the clatter of objects knocked from the wall falling, and felt a flicker of slight satisfaction as he watched the body slide to the floor, and lay unmoving on the floor. Slowly he walked over to the body and reached out to pick it up, "Now, now you are as helpless as he was and I am,"

"Captain James T Kirk of the Federation Starship Enterprise." that voice. It was not in his head and the hand that gently touched his shoulder was not part of the insanity that had gripped him.

" **Spock!** " Kirk spun, took one look to assure himself it was his friend then flung his arms around him and clung to him. "You're, **you're alive! You're here!** You're alive, you're here. You're alive, you're here. You're alive, you're here."

"Yes, Jim." Just for a few minutes the Vulcan held the human to him as he felt the sobs shaking his friend.

"I, I saw what he did. He has to pay for what I saw him do you. What he did," Spock let Jim hug him closer and gently patted his friend's back, feeling the joy mixed with the fury.

Once Kirk had regained control Spock took a step back and looked at him, "I do not know what you would have seen other than what took place in the hotel room. I do know he suspected we were being watched so he ensured that what was seen was what was expected but, Jim, **it was not what happened**."

"Spock, I saw, I saw what he was doing." Kirk turned and looked at the unmoving officer in disgust and loathing.

"Jim," with gentle fingers the Vulcan turned his Captain's head so they looked at each other, "He was doing what he had to do to get me out alive. He knew we would be filmed and he **made it look like** he was repeatedly raping me but, Jim, did you ever see him remove his pants? **Could you really see what was going on under the sheets**? There was a blanket over and around me to keep me warm and a second blanket between us as he said it would stop me picking up on his feelings. Then there was the top blanket that you would have seen him get under. He was helping me eliminate the effects of Neuronillaudto at the same time giving the illusion of raping me. He was making me drink a strange tea and had a container I could pass urine into. He was flushing my systems of the drugs. What his actions that were seen as rape was him helping me increase my fluid intake and rate of oxygen consumption thus weakening the effect of Neuronillaudto on my brain."

"But, but I saw." Kirk was finding it difficult to comprehend it all as he was so relieved that Spock was back on the ship, back with him.

"What he wanted you and everybody else to see and what he knew you and they would believe even though it never happened. **It never happened.** "

McCoy finally rushed in, "Welcome back, Spock, now will you get medical in here, this man needs care."

Only then did Kirk really look at the officer McCoy was working on and saw the position he was in, saw blood about his nose, mouth and ear; saw his body laying at an odd angle, and felt strong arms holding him back when he went to move. "He needs McCoy now, Jim. He no longer has to play a role that was so totally against his nature. It strained him to his mental limits to maintain the facade of a slave owner."

"When I saw,"

"Jim, Spock, take it to one of your quarters."

"Bridge to Doctor McCoy."

"McCoy here."

"Yes, Doctor McCoy. I am to see the officer on behalf of the Admiral as soon as he is fit for questioning"

"He," McCoy looked at Kirk, "He seems to have picked something up from the planet. I will have to put him in isolation for a few days."

"That, that is another reason why only senior officers who had been properly prepared go to that planet. You are to inform me when he is fit enough to answer my questions."

Anger flashed across McCoy's face and he all but spat into the communicator, "Understood."

The medical team arrived and McCoy said, "Serious spinal injury lift."

 _Serious spinal injury,_ Spock looked at McCoy and felt the slight tightening of the fingers on his arms and heard the slight gasp from his so very human friend.

"Take Spock to his quarters, Jim. I'll check him there as,"

"I am fit and well, Doctor. It is he you must concentrate on."

"You just take care of him till I get there, Jim." McCoy followed his team.

Spock felt Kirk release his arm once they were in his quarters. He felt safe in familiar surroundings and yet he started pacing, "I am certain I could not have survived that life, Jim. The drug they injected into me blocked my ability to escape to my mind. It was slowly taking away my ability to think for myself. It, it intensified my senses and I was more aware of feelings of others and of my sense of touch." He momentarily stopped pacing and looked at Kirk, "The one constant thing I held to was knowing you would come for me. Jim would come."

Guilt filled Kirk as he looked at his friend, "Hands-off planet. Only senior officers allowed and then only at the behest of its leaders. I, I could do nothing."

"Yet you sent," Spock looked deep into his friend's eyes and saw the truth there with all the helplessness and pain. Slowly he walked over to Kirk and waited while Kirk stood for a moment and slowly shook his head. "An unofficial beam down?"

"I, I knew you were on that planet. I knew you were alive and in trouble. I could not make the Admiral let me go look. The Ambassador's aide kept reminding both of us of all the questions that would be raised and the diplomatic problems that could arise. I asked around and made contact with a, a man, who said he had proof you were alive and there. To know that and not be able to get to you. Then seeing that. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't get off the ship. I couldn't help you." The Vulcan First Officer pulled his human Captain to him and employed something he remembered his mother doing so many, many years ago and rubbed Jim Kirk's back as the human cried out his frustrations.

"There was nothing to stop, Jim. He was protecting me."

Spock could feel a growing sense of self-loathing in his friend and Captain before the human pulled away. "And I attacked him. I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. I beat him and then I hurled him against the wall wanting to stun him so I could kill him." Kirk looked at his friend, "I had never felt that way about a member of my crew before but when I thought of what he did to you."

"What he appeared to do, Jim. Did you believe him to be as a slave owner, Jim?"

"I, I believed him. Just something about how he appeared, how he acted."

"When I first saw him, when I heard his voice I knew, somehow I knew I had heard it before. But it did not belong to what I thought was a man who knew how to manage slaves. Everything about him bespoke of being one used to having, using, and controlling slaves. There was a disjoin in my mind about the vision and the sound. His appearance, his manner, and at first his touch was that of a cold, demanding, unfeeling being who saw others as things to use. In the voice I heard were pieces of that voice of a man who joked, who cared about others, who belonged where I had been."

"I thought he was a slave owner too, Spock. Everything about hm was so like what we have seen of slave owners on other planets. The way he walked, his manner, his speech was so commanding, so domineering, so totally confident, so,"

"Totally different from the man he is. He was convincingly that persona. As I followed him to the hotel I was aware that he owned me and I had to follow him. When he had pulled me up from the floor there had been, in that brief touch, a flash of two words only."

"Two words?"

"Trust me." Spock looked at his friend and raised an eyebrow, "They are what he often said before he did anything you and Doctor McCoy call harebrained. It was not until he took me to the bathroom and turned on the shower, till I was preparing for what I thought would be the start of my life as his pleasure slave that he said, "Jim Kirk will see this and come. Can't let you feel me. I will protect you but you can't touch me." That was about all he said to me the whole time." Spock turned from him, "I was still under the influence of the drug Neuronillaudto till four point three days ago. It is a drug Vulcanoid slaves are given weekly to keep them manageable by blocking the ability to access anything more than that part of the Vulcan mind that would equate to the intelligence level of a five to six year old human and by blocking access to speech. Over time it leaves them little more than mindless obedient things. Ironic in that generations ago it was created an d used on Vulcan to treat those who became insane beyond the reach of the healers but could still serve as workers with the use of the drug and it is still used today to control the actions of others by limiting access to their mind. They are aware of the present but that is all. It leaves them in a state of mindless obedience. They live only to please their masters and will do anything to please them and they allow anything to be done to them if it pleases their masters. I am aware that there area a few memories that have not returned but as the effect of Neuronillaudto fully abates more memories will return and the mind will readjust till all memories are in correct order."

Kirk turned him to face him, "I should have gotten there sooner."

"You had no way," Spock smiled, "I doubt if they would have believed you to be a slave owner but he."

"I know, I believed he was one. I never thought any of my crew could do what he did so casually."

"He was not him, Jim. He was that other part of him; that part we both have seen him use to protect fellow crewmen on several occasions."

Deep inside himself Kirk knew what the Vulcan was referring to and nodded, "He momentarily got that drunk's attention off me, long enough to get between us." Guilt built in Kirk as he looked at his friend, "I, I never even thanked him for that, Spock. He almost gets killed, partly disemboweled, and I never even thanked him."

"But this time, this time he had to maintain that charade, that character far longer and it was tearing him apart. He was that character to get me, to keep me safe while he got a craft, and when we were on the craft he started to lose his hold on reality, on himself. I do not believe he really realized we were back on the Enterprise. I did not hear him say anything as he exited the craft and the first I heard was your voice. Before I could get out of the craft you had acted."

"When I heard that message, heard who it was and remembered what I had seen I could only think of what I had seen and heard and not what I saw." Kirk closed his eyes as he again saw what had happened next, how he waiting till he knew the man was not on both feet and timed his attack to catch him off guard. He paused. The look. When Angus had looked around it had not been the look of a man ensuring his safety but a traumatised person lost in themself not sure of where they were or even who they are.

He felt long fingers grip his shaking hands, "Jim tell me."

"He saves you, gets you back to me, and I, I could have, I would have killed him. I wanted to kill him so badly I did not hesitate. I saw that look. I saw how he looked but all I let myself see was what I thought he had done to you."

"What look, Jim?"

"He, he didn't say anything because he was lost. He did not know where he was and, and I waited till i knew he was physically vulnerable before I attacked him."

"On the craft he did not know who he was. When he made the recording he had looked at me when he went to say his name and I saw nothing but confusion on his face and knew that he was being torn apart by the two extreme personas. I thought if you and Doctor McCoy heard Scar you would know."

"We worked out it was him but we did not think he would have you. I wanted to kill him with my bare hands. With slaves not being allowed to be taken off-world he would have sold you and the idea of that as well." Kirk stopped for a moment and looked at his friend, "Just how did he do that?"

"Although at the time I did not fully understand what he was doing I could appreciate the man's ability and skills to perform what was termed on old Earth looping a film. He took some film of what you thought of as my being raped and made a continual loop of it, projected it to where the bed was and had to carry me to where he had the craft."

"Just carried you right into the craft, past security and all?"

"He had it timed well, Jim. It was at night, he had me in a blanket slung over his shoulder, and there was the fortnightly replays of the best of the auctions with a where are they now portion. I remember hearing the auctioneer saying about wanting a volunteer to show how I responded to touch and for them to imagine what it would be like to be the first it mount and claim me and heard who I suspected was the security officer asking him what he thought it would be own such a magnificent slave. And he just said he did not like to own things as he had found the more you own the more you are owned and that he was carrying all he needed. The security man had laughed and said what he was carrying did not look like much and he said it was more than enough. He got me seated on the craft and left."

"You know Scotty thinks it is amazing that that craft was able to fly at the altitude it was at?"

"While I was not aware of the status of the craft he had said it would get us close enough for the Enterprise to pick up the signal." For a moment Spock was quit, almost too quiet then he looked at Kirk and Kirk saw pain on his friend's face, "I had heard about it and read about it but, Jim, I had never seen a person, especially not a Human, being so emotionally and intellectually ripped apart. He got down from the seat after sending that message, sat on the floor, pulled his knees to his chest, looked at he, said very clearly, "They'll find you, Spock, but not me. Who is me? What is me? Where is me? I've, I've lost me. Me is lost." Then he just hugged his knees tighter and went still and silent with that totally lost look. So lost in himself to even slightly move as some will when they are not totally lost. All I could do was sit and watch him split and then shatter as he got more and more lost within himself. Only the most senior of the Vulcans healers can sometimes reach the mind of one gone so far. I will have to take him to Vulcan to see if I can help him come back from wherever his mind has taken him."

" **WE** will take him, Spock. **WE** will take him if need be."

For a moment Spock was silent and then nodded as he accepted that there was no way he could get his Captain and friend not to go with him if the need arose. There were things they had to deal with now, "Do our guests know we are back?"


	3. Chapter 3

Kirk shook his head, "Not the two of you. Like the rest of us they did not know he was missing, that he had gone down. When that aide heard," Kirk shook his head, "he was not pleased and was more than a little annoyed. If I did not know better I would say he was bordering on furious as the time delay has upset the _strictly-to-the-minute_ timetable he seems to insist on adhering to."

"How do you suggest we proceed? I am curious as to Angus's condition."

"I think McCoy will be here soon enough with a report on his condition. Want to freshen-up while you wait?"

"That would be most appropriate but you will have to tell McCoy that it was **your orders** as I believe he would prefer, for medical reasons, to see me in this state rather than cleaned up."

Kirk nodded, as usual Spock knew, despite all he said about how illogical McCoy's mind is, that the good doctor would prefer to see him as he was so that those blue eyes missed nothing unusual. "Okay, we'll wait for McCoy but I think you should sit down. No protesting, you look exhausted."

"I will admit that although I have rested that I am still not fully recovered from the treatment Wishart gave me. He was thorough and did all the right things but I am not sure he knows his own strength. I have a few muscles that are still recovering from his actions."

"Was he,"

"He had to get all the Neuronillaudio out and all of the mixture he used. McCoy will no doubt not agree with what he used or how he used it but it worked and cleared my systems."

"Has he been trained in medical? I have to admit I hardly know anything about him."

"I have not had the opportunity to read though his records, Jim, but I do know he is the officer Mister Scott calls his left arm, claims he is too unorthodox to be his right arm but that he has seen him do remarkable repairs when he himself was almost at a loss of what to do."

Kirk placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, "At least he knew how to get that craft to able to get you back."

Twice in the last ninety minutes that annoying aide had contacted McCoy as he had worked on Wishart. Both times McCoy had only just resisted the urge to tell him exactly where to go and how to get there. Just three minutes after McCoy had seen Wishart settled in the Intensive Care Unit the man contacted him again. McCoy was about to tell him exactly what he thought but looked at the operating room and saw it was still a mess, awash with blood and bodily fluids and the crew just starting to clean. "Come on down to my office, we can talk here." he switched off the unit and turned to the crew, "Leave it! Just leave it for a few minutes. Put all his old clothes and other things on that bed and cover it with that sheet." For a moment the medical crew looked at him then one of the older officer he had often worked with nodded, and expertly placed the towels and discards into shapes that resembled legs and then the others realized what he wanted and soon had what looked like a body under the sheet.

As they started to leave one officer who had shown great medical promise walked over to him, "With your permission, Sir." and reached out to streak a little blood on his scrub shirt which he had still not taken off. McCoy nodded his thanks. Dramatic touch but he knew it would add to the illusion. By gawd, he thought, the crew of the Enterprise was more than the best crew on the best ship, it was a family.

The look on the aide's face when he saw the bed told McCoy all he needed to know. The fool believed what he saw without investigating and clearly had not seen a "body" in Sickbay before.

"Is that, that,"

"That is what is left after me working on the officer." McCoy smiled to himself as he watched the color slowly return to the young man's face.

"Did he say anything?"

"He was too severely injured to speak."

"Was there any indication of anything unusual on him on his clothes?"

"The only indications were that he had sustained major to severe trauma to most of his body."

The man visibly slowly relaxed, "Does Captain Kirk know?"

"No, I will inform him after I have completed the report on Officer Wishart."

"I, I see no reason to tell neither the Ambassador nor the Admiral as this incident it is not directly related to the mission. Thank you for your co-operation, Doctor. I am sue we will be able to make up the lost time."

After the aide had left McCoy walked into the Intensive Care and looked again at the readings taken of Angus Wishart and shook his had. The physical injuries were severe enough and would take a significant amount of time to heal and for him to get to even elementary fitness level. There was something about the readings on his head injuries. The damage done by what Jim had done throwing him against the all was one thing but there was much, much more going on. He would have to talk with and to Spock about it as that Vulcan had to know what the cause was and what he could do. Wishart was too good an officer to go out to some facility where he would be just another patient, he had seen the patch-up work the man had done in the field that had kept many alive long enough to get to him. Hell, the man had often come back to Sickbay after a hard day and had him sit down and drink down some of the best alcoholic drinks he had tasted. That Vulcan mind better have some idea not matter how inhuman it may sound.

He grabbed his kit especially calibrated for Spock and headed for his quarters, certain that Kirk would still be there and together the three of them would sort things out, would work out how to best help Wishart. Even as he walked through the main part of Sickbay he saw his staff clearing away the area. They nodded at him and it was obvious they were pleased their "body" had done its job.

He found Kirk and Spock in Spock's quarters and could tell that they had had a long discussion and saw that Spock was wearing what he had been on when beamed aboard but looked more settled although there was concern about his eyes. Emotionless, hogwash! McCoy also did not miss how Kirk quickly removed his hand from the Vulcan's shoulder.

"Now before either of you ask, Wishart is unconscious. His physical injuries were of major concern to start but now, once I have taken care of you, Spock, we will have to talk about his mental condition as I am getting the most unusual readings."

An eyebrow arched, "Please define unusual readings, Doctor."

"Once I have you checked out. Now wait a minute." there was the unmistakable sound of the scanner whirring and McCoy looked at it, then a Spock and back at the display before nodding. "Only what can be expected from the Neuronillaudto, must have been a horrendous experience having your systems cleared of it. Difficult stuff to purge from the body. Let me guess, Wishart did something?"

Spock nodded, "He substantially flushed out my systems." Images of his bodily fluids on Angus as he kept flushing out the Neuronillaudto and wondering how he could apologize for something Angus had accepted in silence. There had been no sense of shame or annoyance from Angus, only the repeated "Trust me."

"From my readings it was not standard treatment, very basic but effective."

"I suspect that had he purchased what was needed I would not be here as, if memory serves, the proper components needed are highly specialized."

"That's right and he used what appears to be little more than some sort of ash and paper."

"Doctor, I regret, to a degree, that my mental state was such I was unable to detect exactly what he was forcing me to swallow but I do recall it was a most unpleasant tasting rather dry substance. After I had orally emptied my stomach he would wipe the inside of my mouth with a cloth dipped in some citrus liquid. I was aware that the substance did not take long to go through my digestive system and that what was eliminated had a most unusual and most repulsive aroma." Spock closed his eyes as though not wanting his friends to see his shame. "He was most considerate and compassionate in his care: in total conflict with the persona he had to be to get me away, that he had to be when he left the apartment let alone the shelter of that small area the cameras could not see."

Puzzlement was clear on McCoy's face, "What shelter?"

"He devised a sort of tent around a mattress on the floor of the room they had knowing that they would be filmed. It was their only privacy and to those who watched it what they saw would make them believe Spock was being repeatedly raped."

All color seemed to drain from McCoy's face as he looked at Spock, "He,"

"What they saw was him purging the Neuronillaudto from my system. It would have appeared, as they had no clear view of exactly what was happening, that, as Jim said, that I was being raped."

"I do not know where he would have learned about purging it, Spock, as he only did the occasional assisting in Sickbay and then only assisting the nurses. Doctor M'Benga and Nurse Chapel have said he had helped them a few times and that he was a great help and learned very quickly."

An eyebrow slowly arched, "I highly doubt if the treatment he gave me would be anything he would have learned from them, Doctor." in the dark eyes McCoy saw just a slight indication of what his friend had been through and nodded back. It was clear that whatever Wishart had used had worked but been unpleasant and, most likely, nothing to be found in any medical records. "He asked me to trust him and I did."

"Is that all he said to you, Spock? Just " _Trust me_ ", no explaining what he was going to do or doing?"

"Try to understand the situation, Doctor. The Neuronillaudto was blocking my mind, rendering me little more than an obedient animal functioning only when made to and without independent thought. I was fully aware of the Neuronillaudto taking control of my mind and was unable to prevent it. Some part of my mind registered that I knew this man and I could feel, those few times we were in physical contact, that I could and would trust him. That part of my mind registered that he would know what to do to help me and all I had to do was trust him. Just trust him and he would help me back to me and where I belonged." McCoy felt a pang of guilt as he saw in his friend's eyes the pain of the memory.

"I'm sorry for bringing it back. It was worse than I thought. I was hoping your human factors,"

"My human factors were what made me know that I could trust him," Spock glanced at Kirk then back at McCoy, "Apart from my mother it has been you and Jim, and a few others aboard the Enterprise, who have taught me I can trust some humans with matters outside the parameters of StarFleet. It was also only logical that I allow him to care for me as I was quite unable to physically do so myself."

McCoy smiled, "You are back. If something like that can be described as logical,"

"But it was, Doctor."

"No, the helping you was, heaven help me, logical, but not his whole beaming down without authorization, running the risk of being caught with no identification, some-how getting that thing you two were in to get you off that planet, and then facing one highly irrate and emotionally charged Captain was the most harebrained illogical thing he could have done. And not telling anybody."

Spock looked at Kirk, "Am I correct in assuming you are in the process of planning what to do next? How to explain my reappearance?"


	4. Chapter 4

Kirk was aware his Vulcan friend saw more of what he was thinking and feeling than was ever spoken of. How he wished he could do the same to the same extent. At times he could detect some things from how he friend stood, the turn of his mouth, the look about his eyes, but was nowhere near the ability Spock had to almost read him. "By the book I know what had to be done, Spock. Return our three guests to Starfleet Headquarters and get our next orders."

"Oh forget the book, Jim. What are you going to do to find out what happened to Spock?" McCoy saw the look the two exchanged and knew there was a great deal more going on than he knew about. "You two care to share what is going on here?"

"Doctor, why would you believe that anything was going on? Surely you,"

"What I know, Spock, is that you and Jim had a good conversation and you both know a lot more about the events than I do. Now some I need not know but if either of you have any inkling as to who may have anything to do with it I want to know as I have a strange niggling feeling about that aide." From the way both his friends suddenly really looked at him with the same curious look let me know he was right, "I don't suppose you two would care to share?"

For a moment Kirk and Spock looked at one another and McCoy knew it was just another silent conversation, that he had to wait. Damned if he understood it. Two such different men having such a special connection, a connection that had been tested so many times and yet held despite all the logic, research, and facts had shown it should not have ever been formed let alone lasted as it had. It was at times like this he was close to envious of what they had, to be that close to another, to know another almost as well as the self was known would be both a blessing and a curse.

Jim Kirk knew his Vulcan fried was a very private person and for Bones to know what they knew he would have to let McCoy see the film. There was a chance that McCoy might see something they had missed but it was up to Spock. While he would not have any problem with McCoy seeing a film if he had been the victim he knew that Spock would find it difficult to know another he knew had see him in such a state. McCoy might be able to tell them something about the other men that would help.

In the hazel eyes looking at him Spock saw his friend was concerned about letting McCoy see the film. McCoy was highly emotional and it could greatly upset him but there was a possibility that in that emotional state he would detect something they were not seeing. He had noticed, over the years, that often when the man was in an emotional state he could often be more aware of what humans called "Tell-Tale" signs in another's body motions. The good doctor need not see all of it, just the start and the end of the auction when there were others with them.

Finally Spock nodded, "Doctor, you must see part of the film Jim purchased. It may be upsetting but it will let you see and know a part of what I experienced as well as see the gentlemen that the Captain and I have had difficulty in determining who they may be. If you can control your emotions enough you may be able to see and or detect something we have not seen or realized."

McCoy stood silent for a few seconds while his mind registered what he had just heard and realised for Spock to say he may be emotionally effected by it let him know that the Vulcan really did care about him. He was sure that with them both there for support he could, he would be able to watch the film. "Just show me the parts you want me to see, Spock."

He then looked at Kirk, "You saw the whole thing?"

"It showed some of before, all of the auction, and then ended with Spock being lead away as he was the last one. I have never waned to kill people I did not know as much as I did when I watched Spock being sold. The way they treated him."

"Jim, it could have been much worse. If Angus had not,"

"I know, but after seeing how some of the slaves were treated even before the sales."

"Before the sales." Spock sat silently for a few minutes with his fingers steepled and his friends could tell he was trying to remember something. "I had been with the Ambassador's aide as he had been there before and said there was a most fascinating museum on the planet's history and wondered if I would like to go with him as it was by invitation only, I had heard of it and as you and Doctor McCoy had other engagements I thought it would be interesting. There were others there and it was, indeed, a fascinating place. A most comprehensive history of their planet. We were walking through a part about their form of slavery and it momentarily startled me when he asked what I though of being a part of history. I remember him falling as though pushed at the same time as I felt two hyposprays pushed against me and a third injection in my back as someone said "He's magnificent." I regained consciousness shortly afterwards on a bed, naked with a band around my neck, my wrists bound together before me and a voice saying that the first Neuronillaudto dose might not have been enough so they had given a second one. I remember I had heard of Neuronillaudto but it meant nothing. There was a vague sensation of nothing mattering. I was pulled up and walked around with one of them adjusting the hooded robe they had put on me and the other saying I would set a record price for exotics. I followed where they lead. A part of my mind was certain I knew the man in the dress suit but I could not be sure. I could not be sure of anything. It was easier to just go where they lead, to not think. Time had no meaning. I know they left me outside that night as I saw the stars and remembered that I knew something about them but could not remember. It was a state of existing, nothing more."

"Spock, there's no need to," Kirk put a hand on his friend's arm as Spock had not talked of this before, clearly his full memory was returning. He saw the slow shake of his friend's head. "Okay, I'm, we're right here."

"I know, Jim. You both need to hear this to see if it means anything to you. I am still unsure of some factors."

"I remember the man in the dress suit took me outside at different times that first night and would and say, "There's Jim Kirk.", and I would look around but none of the faces were yours and he would laugh at my confusion. He did that ten times during those first ten hours but on the last time I did not look around and he slapped me, laughed, and said that the Neuronillaudto was working if I could forget you that fast. I remembered your name but never saw your face. I kept looking for your face, even in the crowd at the auction but never saw it. I remember him at the sale, the man in the dress suit. He took me there and before the sale he showed the other man how to play with me, I believe he slapped me and spanked me. After the sale as Angus was leading me away he walked up to Angus and said he had bought a real prize exotic stud." for a moment Spock was quiet and Kirk could tell he was remembering something, "He reached out and Angus did, Angus did or said something that made the man turn right around. He moved me in a complete circle which made the man turn. He knew there were security cameras. He must have known you would somehow see a recording and it would let you know who was behind it. He was thinking on so many levels."

"We'll let Bones see those two parts and then talk about it." Kirk looked at McCoy for a moment then back at Spock, "You sure you want to see it?"

"I may recall something as I watch it that will possibly provide answers to a multitude of questions."

Kirk cursed under his breath as he watched his computer screen and made a mental note of the reading when it showed where they encountered the man after the sale then rewound it to where Spock was first shown. There was no clear image of the group of men and, despite all that Wishart had done in turning the last man around, there was no clear image of that man either. He looked first at Spock and saw the slight nod indicating readiness and then at McCoy and saw the tightness about his lips showing his apprehension and yet he, too, nodded.

As the images were screened Kirk briefly looked at Spock and saw him standing almost at total attention yet his eyes seemed fixed to the display. He saw how McCoy stood watching the screen but with his right hand clamped over his mouth and his left hand a tightly balled fist. When it finished he saw a slight relaxation in Spock and McCoy just closed his eyes and shook his head.

"The Neuronillaudto had left me like that after only twenty-four hours, without him getting me I do not like to dwell on what might have been my life. I did find that in that haze that I was not fully aware of the facial details of those around me, it was as though all I knew to do was follow where I was taken and do what I was told: no thinking just obeying. Little more than a living machine. Even seeing it now I cannot describe the men shown. They look familiar but that is all. I regret that I am unable to add anything to what we see." For a moment Spock was silent and looked briefly at McCoy when his friend gently placed put a hand on his arm, "Had I remembered you would not have had to see that, Doctor."

"All I ask, Spock, is that Jim leaves me alone in here with any one of those men, I would,"

"Doctor McCoy," The revulsion and fury in McCoy's voice and the sympathetic sensations from his grip was reflected in the blue eyes, "I highly doubt if Jim would allow it and if he did I would not allow you be to alone with them. They are not worth your career."

From how Spock spoke McCoy heard what was not said and nodded, "I know, Spock. I also saw no way of identifying those men. Despite Wishart moving so that they moved the images were not clear enough for positive identification."

Kirk looked at them, "That man, **the tattoo**."


	5. Chapter 5

"Jim," McCoy's voice sounded leaden and there was a dejected look about him when Kirk looked at him, " I saw several men with the same tattoo down there in the bar we went into. Blast it, they looked like so many others down there." The doctor ached to reach out and comfort his friend as he saw all hope drain from his face, "I sort of thought, from the look of them, that is was some sort of organization and I was tempted to ask about it but decided against it as I got the feeling that such a question would not be welcomed. After seeing it on that excuse of a human I am glad I did not ask."

"As you clearly observed and just stated, Doctor, most of the males looked very much alike and I was not in a state to clearly differentiate one from the other."

Kirk nodded, "That's why you only just remembered the scar on Wishart?"

"No, Jim. It was his voice, he use of words, his clues. I knew I had heard the voice and for a moment, as I looked at him, he gave me a fleeting glance of how he had been when I saw him in Sickbay after he saved you."

"You could not remember other things but that?" McCoy looked at him, trying to remember the Vulcan visiting Sickbay at that time.

"It was because I had not seen so much conflict in a human's eyes before, as though he had so many conflicts going on inside his mind, in that unguarded moment when he opened his eyss thinking he was alone. It was only when you entered that he nodded once and closed his eyes."

"I virtually followed you in."

"As I said, Doctor, it was just the briefest of moments. Just as he gave me down there. I knew I had seen him, had seen that look before." For a moment Spock was quiet then looked at Kirk before looking at McCoy, "May I be allowed to see him for a moment alone?"

"He's only just holding his own, Spock."

"I just need a moment."

McCoy was aware of Kirk looking at him but kept looking at his Vulcan friend, seeing the need, the way Spock was needing to see Wishart. "You try anything and I will physically remove you, understood?"

Spock knew that McCoy knew he was incapable of physically removing him but he also understood what the Doctor meant. "Understood, Doctor. I will not try anything."

"Alright, I will be in to check on you two in a few minutes."

Slowly Spock walked up to the bed, seeing how the registers were showing the physical condition of his body. Carefully he placed his fingers on the correct points for just a scan but did not maintain it long as he was not prepared for the conflicting emanations of personalities, traits, emotions, knowledge, and events that threatened to overwhelm him, emanations he knew Angus used and lived with.

McCoy and Kirk walked in just as Spock removed his hand and almost fell as he slowly accepted how Wishart had known how to be what he had been, how he had been able to maintain that facade. He was puzzled by the name of a place few knew of as it had been a failure, a disaster, an experiment that should never have been done and at the cost of many lives. In his dazed state he allowed McCoy to help him to a seat and awaited the haranguing he expected.

"You okay, Spock? What was it?"

"Such conflict. Conflicting emotions, traits, and personality types all mixed with very varied fields of knowledge and events. It is little wonder he could be the persona he was and why he said he was lost. Saving me took too much from him, triggered something I could not detect."

"You said you were not going to try anything."

"I did not try anything, Doctor, I merely touched his mind but was assaulted with the equivalent of an overwhelming mental tsunami of conflicts."

"Conflicts?" Kirk looked at his friend, relieved as Spock stood and paced for a moment before the Vulcan turned and looked at him and he saw a moment of pure wonder.

"Jim, his emotions were in a mental whirlpool of amazement, disbelief, curiosity, indifference, confidence, uncertainty, elation, gratitude, terror, hopelessness, determination, resignation, dread, unease, certainty, and many others but with love the over-riding one. I had flashes of him as a person who was busy, just, unselfish, serious, dogmatic, touch, hard, unfeeling, and so many other characters at different times in different situations yet always caring for those close to him. I witnessed him being inflexible, flexible, hostile, cooperative, judgmental, easy-going, impulsive, impatient, treacherous, and so many others but above all loyal. He is there, he just cannot find his way out, his way through all that." Spock briefly closed his eyes and shook his head before looking again at Kirk, "Jim, the conflicts that I live with, the constant battle between my Vulcan and Human halves, is nothing when compared with what I experienced with his mind."

McCoy rocked for a moment on his heels, "So, Doctor Spock, you believe he might come back to us?"

"Must I keep reminding you, Doctor McCoy, that the title of Doctor Spock was that of a well-known Human pediatrician on Earth in the mid-twentieth century. As to the possibility of Angus coming back to us as you put it, that is an uncertainty at present, I can think of no way to help him on the Enterprise or even in StarFleet.. There is too much conflict for me to reach through. I will contact the Vulcan Science Academy and find out it this is something that the healers can help with."

McCoy looked at Kirk and saw the nod then looked back at Spock knowing that he and Kirk had obviously had a conversation about this before. "If you think it best, Spock. I just know I can only take care of his physical needs."

"There is nobody else I would entrust his care to, Doctor. I know from personal experience the care you take of your patients cannot be found anywhere else. If you gentlemen will excuse me I will return to my quarters and rest."

"Wait," Kirk said as Spock started to leave, and went to the intercom, "Uhura, where are our guests?"

"I am not sure, Sir but will find out and,"

"They need to be distracted for a few minutes as they do not know who returned and we want to keep it that way."

"I will see that they are distracted, Sir. Is all well?"

Kirk smiled both at Spock's raised eyebrow and at the confirmation as to how great a crew he had.. There was no way their guests would be without a crew member with them, keeping them clear of Sickbay and the quarters till further notice. "Thank you. As well as can be expected. Kirk out."

"Am I to believe that the crew know of my return?"

"The crew only and they know not to mention it to our guests."

That was on thing Spock had learned about the crew over the years, they did not discuss ship matters with non-crew irrespective of who the guests were, even if they were senior officers. He had often felt strangely safe and secure with that knowledge.

"If you gentlemen will excuse me I would like to go to my quarters to do some research and to rest."

"I'll let you know of any changes in Wishart."

"And I'll keep you notified of the activities of our guests." .

"Thank you both, I would have expected nothing less from either of you."

After Spock had gone McCoy looked at Kirk, "He's up to something, isn't he?"

Kirk looked from the closed door to his friend, "Yes, but what? Do you think, as I do, that there was more to what he sensed or saw in that touch?"

"He was shaken by whatever he encountered but yes, I think there was something that has aroused that insatiable curiosity."

For a moment Kirk was quiet then turned to the computer and keyed in a code that is not said aloud to access personnel records and before them was Angus Wishart's records. Nothing unusual. Family history, a brother and sister still alive, where he grew up, and his Starfleet records. Nothing at all that seemed unusual. There had to have been something more. Like McCoy he had seldom seen his Vulcan friend so shaken after either touching another's mind or melding with another. There was something, but what?

"Captain Kirk, please report to the bridge." It was Uhura and Kirkk glanced at McCoy, they both knew from what she said and how she said it that their guests were on the bridge looking for him.

"On my way. Kirk out." Kirk looked at McCoy, "Coming?"

"I'd really like to go up with you and check them out, Jim, but I best get back to Wishart. Spock did say he could not find his way back and I figure I should be there just in case he does find his way back."

"Do you really think he will find his way back?"

For what seemed a long time, but Kirk knew was really only a standard minute, hazel eyes met blue eyes and the truth flowed both ways. "By all medical reasoning he is as good as dead as what the scans show me are unlike anything I have seen before. He should be sent to a special facility where he will be kept alive till he dies of natural causes. That is by medical reasoning but if Spock believes he will come back I would bet on it over all that top of the range equipment and all those medical reports."

"Promise I won't tell him,, Bones. I feel the same way."

"And you can get rid of all that blame you are still carrying, Jim. You are a human, an emotional human, and you simply reacted when you saw him."

Briefly Kirk closed his eyes then looked back at McCoy, "I saw he was lost, I saw he was not aware of where he was, but I still attacked him. Not only did I attack one of my own crew but also one who was so traumatized he did not know where he was."

"We can deal with that later, right now you have guests to take care of and I have a patient."

In his quarters Spock looked at the file he had been able to access. He reread it three times trying to find something, anything, to do with that which was not mentioned. He had clearly heard it and sensed it had been something Angus knew about,, but how? He took a deep breath. If Jim were there he would call it a wild goose chase, or a hunch, but he entered "Survivors" along with the place that was a part of history and not spoken of. "Twenty-one children under the age of ten years only survivors with the oldest, a ten year old boy, as leader for the thirty-five weeks it took to arrive - all re-homed and cared for. Details classified.

He looked back at Angus's file and sat still as a chill went through his human aspects. There was no doubt in him that Angus had been that ten year old boy. The age and the time as well as Angus knowing the code name for the trial outpost. At the Academy it had been briefly mentioned as a mistake as there was no knowledge of what other species were in that area, what other beings would consider it their space. It had been attacked and plundered and there had been no mention of any survivors as it was not talked about. It had led to many changes about the establishment of colonies and dealing with new species and new areas of space. It had clearly had a lasting impact on his life, one his ability to do so many things as he would have had to learn. Spock closed his eyes as he realized what Angus would most likely have seen and to suddenly have the responsibility of twenty other children in a place a destruction, death, and no adults to help.

As though his fingers had their own life he found himself asking Uhura to get him a private link and was soon looking at a younger and more thick-set version of Angus.

"Mister Gavin Wishart I am,"

"Hello, Miser Spock, my brother Angus has told us about you and the others on the Enterprise." The man was quiet for a minute and then said, "Is he injured or dead? Without fail he contacts either our sister or myself every other week and he missed this week's call. If you knew Angus you would know that."

"He has been in an accident and is presently getting the best possible care. Physically he will heal but," for a moment he faltered. He was going to remind the man of a severe traumatic event in his life.

"Has he mentally shut down?"

Only a human would describe it as being shut down, only an engineer. "Yes."

"I will prepare a room in our house for him. He will not go to a place where he is not known."

"Is this to do with the event that occurred when he was ten years of age?"

"You, you know of that? I thought it was securely closed."

"I know of it. He was the young man in charge of the rest of you, was he not?"

"Yes, he saw and did things no ten year old should have to. For thirty-I've weeks he worked on keeping us fed, fixed up a building for us to live in as all the buildings had been destroyed, did things to get us a power system, and as soon as we were rescued he seemed to just shut down mentally. The couple that took our sister and myself in also took him in and it took a lot of time for him to come back and while most of him did return it was obvious to our sister and myself that he had changed, grown up far more than we had. We know that one day he will shut down and not come back but we also know that when that happens we will take him in and take turns caring for him. When will he,"

"I cannot say that he will not come back but what you have told me has been most helpful. I am aware that this is not a topic open for discussion and I am pleased you shared the information with me. I cannot say why but I believe that he will, again, come back and I will ensure he contacts you as soon as he can. I can say neither he nor any other person will know of our conversation."

"Thank you, Mister Spock for not only letting me know how he is but also for looking after him and not mentioning the past. As far as I am concerned this conversation did not take place."

"Most agreeable, Mister Wishart. Live long and prosper."

"Same to you, Mister Spock."

For a long time Spock sat still in the silence of his quarters then went to his bed and lay down. As a child he had undergone the kahs-wan at eleven years old but there were elders to judge and only himself to consider while Angus had no adult help and had to think of the others. His parents were waiting for him at the end while Angus most likely saw his parents die or in death. He was eleven and Angus was ten. No wonder there was so much conflict in his mind. There had to be a way to help him come back.

Just before he eased himself to sleep what was said in the craft came back to him, _"They'll find you, Spock, but not me. Who is me? What is me? Where is me? I've, I've lost me. Me is lost."_ Angus knew he was lost.


	6. Chapter 6

Jim Kirk had so often asked himself what he had ever done that was so horrendous that he so often was assigned the task of playing diplomatic shuttle captain instead of the captain of a starship out doing what they were meant to be doing. Taking a deep breath he stepped from the turbolift and onto the bridge to be welcomed by his crew with just a nod and Scotty standing up from the chair. "She's all yours, Sir. Everything is as it should be but I best go check on Engineering.". Kirk nodded knowing full well his Chief Engineer would be wanting to thoroughly go over the small craft they had in Cargo Bay B.

"Thank you, Mister Scott." Slowly Kirk walked to the chair, paused as he looked at his three guests, giving the aide a more scrutinizing look, "I think our next order of duty is to see you three back to start on your next assignment and we get a meaningful one."

"So, you do not see what you are doing as meaningful? The aide asked.

Kirk looked at the other two men then fixedly at the aide, "As you are an aide you possibly do not understand nor do you fully comprehend what a starship really is all about, what it is capable of, and what it is mean to be doing. This ship was built for exploration and its crew trained for their skills on the ship as well as first contact. Our mission is to explore deep space uncharted space that had ever been attempted by any starship, to discover new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations. In other words this ship and grew are meant to go where no man has reportedly gone before not be a showpiece or taxi. There are many other ships that could have done the shuttle service we have just provided. While I do see diplomatic relationships as important I fail to see what my First Officer would call logic in using a ship like the Enterprise as little more than a glorified shuttlecraft."

"Your crew has adjusted well to the loss of your First Officer." Kirk was aware of the aide almost studying him and he kept looking at him.

"I doubt if you would find any officer on this ship who did not know the risks we face out here. Death is part of life. Crew members come and go. I will admit there is a feeling of great sadness and loss when an officer is lost but there are four hundred and thirty-nine other officers to consider."

"You seemed to have adjusted to the loss. I had assumed that Mister Spock was more than just your First Officer to you," the aide looked around at the bridge crew, "to this whole command crew. I watched how you all interacted and I got the feeling it was more than just that of officers."

Uhura stood up and looked at the man and Kirk saw his shoulder muscles move before the man almost swayed as those dark eyes fixed on him. "You, Sir, decidedly need to get out more. Out here we have to adjust quickly to each and every loss and one officer is not more or less important that another but we have a larger crew to think about and this ship and its mission. When we lose a member we remember them, we each deal with the loss in our own way, and we get on with our duty. We cannot allow ourselves to think of one another as more than fellow officers otherwise each loss would lessen our ability to function. Captain Kirk is my commanding officer and I respect him as such. If you saw more than that I would suggest you get some sort of help: either with an ophthalmologist or psychiatrist." She gave Kirk a quick nod and sat down. Kirk glanced around and noted how both Sulu and Chekov had their heads down, as he knew them so well he knew it was because they were clearly trying not to laugh and he had found it difficult to maintain a stern expression.

"I believe you now know the feeling of the crew. Now, once we have,"

"Return course locked in, Sir."

"Thank you, helm. Warp seven, these men will be anxious to go to the next function." It was difficult for Kirk not to show the pleasure he got from seeing the startled look on the aide's face, clearly the man did not expect his crew to know exactly what was needed. He just looked at the man, "As you can see, Lieutenant Uhura was correct in stating that this crew gets on with their duty. They had been fully briefed as to the mission and knew precisely what was needed to be done. The only possible reasons for any deviation from what was discussed earlier would be a ship in distress, any spacial abnormality or anomaly, an urgent message from Starfleet Command, an attack on us by known or unknown parties, or something catastrophically wrong with the ship. Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me I must go over the various reports from the various departments of this ship and make my own report.''

"Captain Kirk, you do have very impressive ship and an outstanding crew. A soon as you finish your reports we would like to have that thorough tour of the ship that was mentioned before, when we came aboard, would take place after our mission was completed and we were headed back."

Although he swore to himself Kirk just nodded, "Certainly, I will contact you as soon as I have finished my reports."

"We shall go to my quarters," the Ambassador said, "and you can contact us there."

"I should not be too long."

In Sickbay's intensive care unit Doctor McCoy stood looking down at Angus Wishart and wondered if there was some way to reach into that tortured mind. Far too many times this man had been in here following either doing something like he had just done in saving another officer or bearing the brunt of one of Scotty's ideas that did not quite work as Scotty had thought it would. Another officer? He had saved Spock, saved him from a life worse than any could imagine, especially for a Vulcan. In that brief mental touch Spock had said that he was there but lost, that was because he had, for those four days, been portraying a persona so very, very different from his own, and then Jim had brutally attacked him.

All the readings showed his body was reacting to the medication and his treatment earlier but scans he quickly took showed the chaos in his mind, so totally unlike any he had ever seen before in a patient that recovered any degree of sanity. Very carefully he reached out and lightly touched the side of his patient's face, "What this tells me is totally different to what that blasted Vulcan said he sensed and I know for a medical report I should put down these readings but, but my gut tells me they are wrong. Too many times he has been right with all that mumbo-jumbo Vulcan stuff when all these instruments tell me otherwise. For all our sakes I hope he is right and you will come back to us. So many questions and things that need explaining. You know that Scotty and Sulu want to talk with you about that craft, Uhura will want to know how you established an audio system on that craft, Chekov will want to know how you managed to navigate it, and Jim." Momentarily McCoy smiled to himself, "Well Jim will have some guilt as well as so many questions. And you know that Spock will think that he is to blame for all that has happened to you." McCoy closed his eyes for a moment as he thought of what his Vulcan friend would most likely feel despite that spiel about Vulcans having no emotions then he gently stroked the sandy hair into place and adjusted the blanket. "You just," McCoy patted the shoulder under his hand, "you just come back to us when you are ready." He walked over to the desk and reread his notes then sat just looking at his patient as though looking for any sign that he was going to come back to them. Everything he had read, everything he had heard and experienced, indicated that there was no chance of him recovering mentally: but Spock felt something and he would put more faith in his friend than in all the recorded medical literature.

It had not surprised Spock that the other bridge crew came to his quarters one at a time as their shift ended. Over the years he had become accustomed to the human need to visit and reconnect with any friend who had been missed and he was aware of the pleasure it gave his human elements to be aware of friendship they shared.

It was, as usual, most thoughtful of Mister Scott to have made such a thorough video recording of his examination of the craft Angus had returned them in, so clear and from different points of view. He had spent some time looking at them and noting so many things he wanted to check later and was pleased with the care the Engineer was taking with the filming.

When the Engineer walked into his quarters first Spock also noted he carried a bottle of alcohol in one hand and a different bottle in his other hand. "Ye've nay ta worry about,, Miser Spock, my lads know not ta touch that little beasty. I've nay doubt we will want ta see how he managed to get it to fly and how he got it ta hold together that long. Tis grand to have ye back. How is the lad?"

"It is good to be back, Miser Scott. I saw him briefly when Doctor McCoy allowed me to and, as far as I know he is still alive and lost in his mind."

Spock watched as the man put the bottles on his desk and turned to look at him, "Ye say he is lost in his mind, so he is nay insane?"

"No, he had too, for too long a period of time, be a character this whole being found too repulsive to deal with." for a moment he stopped as he had not considered how just thinking of what Angus had endured and was enduring because of him would cause him hesitate when orally discussing it with others.

It was clear in the man's actions that he understood as he briefly placed a hand on his shoulder, "He'd nay like to pain ye, Sir. He'd know the risks and that ye were worth it to him and us. Ye will help him come back from his mind."

It had been what he had needed and Spock had nodded, "Thank you for your faith in me, Mister Scott. I will do what I can to help him."

Sulu arrived next with a smile and a small piece of cord that handed to Spock who looked at it then at Sulu, "I recall seeing this in his hands but cannot fully recall what he was doing with it. From what Mister Scott showed me of the craft the only thing he could have been doing with it was piloting the craft but this," he had kept fingering the short piece of thick cord, "would be of no use for that. It would not have withstood the tension needed for that long."

Sulu nodded, "The only thing he could have used it for would be piloting as there was nothing, not a thing, that was in the craft that could have been used. It was, is, a very old craft that appears to have been little more than scrap. For him to get it off the planet," he shook his head, "Angus would have believed in it being possible, would have believed he could do what he did do despite how disjointed all the parts were." Spock saw the astonishment in the smile when Sulu looked at him, "He had made up his mind to get you back and logic had no place in his plans."

Chekov had walked in, "He had no way of navigating. There was nothing. Just you two in that, that whatever it is, with no real fuel system, no controls, and no way of knowing where you were or were going." He gave Spock a broad smile, "Now you can call him a most illogical human, Sir."

"I shall look forward to doing that, Mister Chekov. From what I have been told he is a most illogical human.". Spock looked from Chekov to the cord still in his hands, "A very illogical human."

"And one to take risks," Uhura walked in and smiled at him. "We only got that message for four point six standard minutes before it was lost. From what I have seem there was no real communications system, just something that was obsolete over fifty years ago. Far too many wires and no frequency selection. Just one wire in the wrong place would have seen it as useless. I have seen him, when we have been in trouble on the bridge with the communication system, use unorthodox wiring to get it functioning long enough to receive and send messages. Used to take some time to fix what he had done but, for the time we needed it, his system worked."

"If memory serves he was, on eight occasions, able to affect repair on the Science Station for me while we were engaged in rather disagreeable situations." Memories of Angus contorting himself against the side of the station to keep from underfoot came back to him, as well as all the non-standard and rather unique repairs that had taken him slightly longer than usual to repair to standard later.

"Aye, that he did and ye came down and told him that while you appreciated what he had done that he should use the correct tools and equipment."

"I thought I would find you all here." Captain Kirk walked in and Spock saw that special smile when their eyes met. "I am meant to go get out guests and show them the rest of the ship but thought I would see how you are doing."

"Here," Scotty handed them each a glass and Spock realized his was a different liquid, "Oh, tis a Vulcan drink I have kept for something special and getting ye back is as special as it gets." He raised his glass as Scotty said, "To friends that become family and to that family being together. I'll take McCoy's his later as he is looking after the lad."

They had just finished their drink when Spock's intercom beeped, "Spock, you best get down here. I," Spock did not hear any more and neither did the others as they raced after him as the Vulcan charged to Sickbay.


	7. Chapter 7

First Officer Spock could recall little of his journey from his quarters to Sickbay nor had he waited to hear what McCoy had to say. There had been something in the man's voice that spoke of urgency. He only stopped when two security guards gripped his arms and McCoy stood in front of him blocking him from going into the Intensive Care Unit.

" **He's still with us** , Spock. He opened his eyes and they react to light but he has said nothing and given no other reaction. All scans are as before. I," concerned blue eyes looked steadily at him as a hand briefly rested on his shoulder, and the Vulcan fully understood what was not said as he knew this man so well, "I just thought you should be here." Only then did McCoy nod and stand aside as the security men released him.

Although to all those around him it looked like Spock confidently walked up to the bed he was aware he was merely controlling both the Human emotions and his Vulcan fury at what had happened to Angus on his behalf. He had remembered more about what had taken place before, about how Angus had acted, had been, and knew the being that persona for that long would have been a human version of hell. Angus hardly knew him and yet had borne all that to get him back. McCoy might, by training, be meant to think, as so many would, that there was no hope for Angus, and yet McCoy had accepted that he had sensed an awareness when he had briefly touched Angus's mind, a knowing that he was lost. No, not so much lost as trapped. McCoy had accepted that what he had sensed outweighed technology. He was only vaguely aware of them watching him as he paused by the head of the bed looking down at Angus.

McCoy had been right, his eyes were open but they were fixed, reacting only to light. Momentarily Spock closed his own eyes, too many memories were battering against his barriers. All that he had seen about those eyes down there, that Earth saying about the eyes being the mirror of the soul. Down there those eyes had been alive and reassuring, now there was a totally lost look about them. There was something there, something stopping Angus from returning. Kroykah! He had been aware of his mind starting to calculate how many things could be stopping him.

"You okay, Spock?" Kirk's voice penetrated his mind and he turned and looked at his friend. "I have to go see to our guests."

"I will remain here. If he is to come back I should be here to help in whatever way I am able to."

"I will be back as soon as I can. The rest of you should go get some rest." when there was no movement Kirk kept looking at Spock and the Vulcan saw the smile about his friend's eyes then he looked from Uhura to Sulu to Chekov and finally at Scotty, " **I do not want to make it an order**. You will be notified of any change." Once the others had gone Kirk looked from the still form on the bed to the still form standing beside it just looking down at it. He knew his friend so well he knew the guilt he would be feeling although he would never admit to that Human aspect. Briefly he rested a hand on the stiff shoulder and gave a light squeeze, "He'll be glad to see you, Spock. He'll be glad that you are the first person he will see."

Spock had nodded and Kirk left. Spock had nodded not because he agreed with what Jim had said but because he knew he had to acknowledge him so he would leave. He was aware of McCoy's light touch before he walked out of the room to sit at his desk where he could monitor what was going on. The Vulcan was not sure if Angus would be glad to see him, if seeing him would bring back too many memories for him to deal with. So many of those recalled memories made him wonder more about the man and about if he would really want to return to them. The images that had flooded into him in that brief mind touch had coalesced and he had a deeper understanding and appreciation of the man and all he had done, all he lived with. What the images had shown him and what his brother had said only added to his wondering if the man would really want to return. At first he wondered what Human would want to return but paused, and closed his eyes. What being of any species would want to return to those memories and living with them ever present? Angus had called upon whatever it was in that enabled him to be that other persona for so long, to only lesson it slightly in that room with him when Angus had tended to his needs. At the time he had been unable to fully resist the drugs he had been given but even in the haze he had been aware of the conflict within the man: the conflict had been held down by the repeated "Trust me." Would Angus now trust him to ensure he got the best care? Was there some part of Angus that trusted him to help him back or.

 **No!** Not after all he had been through, all he had endured, all he had done to get him back to the Enterprise. Carefully Spock placed his hand briefly on the side of Angus's face and sent the message that Angus had sent him all the time, "Trust me." He removed his hand and just stood looking down at the still form allowing a moment of Human hope to possess him.

One of the many things James Kirk disliked about dignitaries that he had to show about the ship was their asinine questions. He was certain that somebody somewhere gave them all the same set of questions with instructions to repeat each question at least three different ways. Usually it was just the Ambassadors who asked questions but the aide was also asking a lot of questions about the ship and the crew make up on other Federation ships. It seemed to amaze the aide that more and more non-humans were becoming starship captains within StarFleet and that there were many more within the Federation.

As they walked through the ship, with Kirk believing they had seen enough of the ship, the Ambassador said, "There is still your Sickbay I wish to see to see how it compares with others I have seen. I have heard that your medical staff is the best in all of the Federation. My aide has told me that there were no patients, that you had had a loss of another officer not just your First Officer. I know how hard that must be but it seems your crew admirably copes with such losses."

"The loss of crew members is part of being out in unchartered space, Sir. The crew know that out there we encounter on a daily basis the risk of losing not only some of our fellow officers but also our own life and the ship. It is accepted by all who venture into the unknown. While it is not visible to those who do not know the crew it is the loss of crew members when not out there that seems to effect them far more as far too often there is no reason for it."

"So the loss of your First Officer and the other officer has been difficult for your crew to accept and yet there is no sign of any inefficiency." The aide looked at him and Kirk felt that previous unsettled feeling when he looked at the man.

"The crew knows the best way it can honor fallen shipmates is to continue working, upholding the high standards of the ship. In private the crew may mourn in their own way but on duty they are officers and carry out their duties."

When they arrived outside Sickbay Kirk hesitated, he hoped that Spock would have returned to his quarters and yet suspected he had stayed. Bones would have shut the main door to the Intensive Care Unit so that the only access was thorough his office so he had to ensure they stayed in the main area. It was best not having to explain how Spock returned until he had sorted all of it out and he would need a lot more time to do that, if it could ever really be sorted out as there were so many questions and people involved. At his core he knew he wanted five minutes alone with whoever was behind it with them as drugged as Spock had been but he knew that that was unlikely as whoever it was was bound to be back on

"Gentlemen, you will remember Doctor McCoy, Doctor, they have come to check out your domain." even as he spoke he saw McCoy press a button that silently closed the door to the Intensive Care Unit, saw that the intercom was on so that Spock could hear what was said and so that Bones could hear if he were suddenly needed in there. From where they stood they could not see the instrumentation that Bones could that let him know how Wishart was doing. McCoy gave him a slight nod then looked at the others. To them the nod would be acknowledgment but Kirk knew it was to let him know there was no change.

McCoy briefly but politely pointed out the many features the Enterprise had that some of the other starships did not have and Kirk was quick to point out that they were pieces of equipment devised and created on the ship often with the help of the First Officer and Chief Engineer. McCoy would catch his eye as though to add that a few were the creation of Angus Wishart alone. When asked about the Intensive Care Unit McCoy said, "I have a patient in there who does not need any distractions at this moment."

"But we were informed that the person who had been brought here from that craft had died."

"I do not know where you got your information from but whoever gave it to you did not ask my about the condition of any patient. Also throughout the day I see many members of the crew about various things. When one presents themself and does not wish others to know and there are no immediate emergencies I make full use of the I.C.U." McCoy looked at each one of the three men before crossing his arms over his chest and rocking on his heels, "I am sure you gentlemen, being gentlemen, understand how some people like to keep some medical matters private."

"Then the man who came out of the craft did not die?"

"That is correct. As the Captain will attest, the man who came out of the craft did not die. He was checked over by myself, had minor injuries taken care of, and sent to his quarters. You were clearly given wrong information."

The confusion and slight traces of panic was plain on the aide's face, "But I saw, I saw when I came here, all the blood. You said,"

"If I remember correctly you were unable to ask if the mess you saw on the emergency operating table was an indication that the officer had died. I told you it was what was left after me working on the officer which made you lose most of the coloring to four face," McCoy smiled to himself as he watched a shade of red slowly add color to the young man's face. "I generally leave the tidying up of the operating room till after the patient it settled and you came in before I had time to do so and saw, as I said, what was left You then asked if he had said anything and I informed you he was too severely injured to speak. You did not ask if he had died nor what his present condition was. But you were most insistent that you would tell the Ambassador and Admiral."

"It was red blood" Kirk saw the aide seem to relax, "He human?"

McCoy had also seen, as Kirk had, the way the man relaxed, "It is not just humans who have red blood. There are many species that have red blood and red other bodily fluids."

The man seemed to suddenly pay real attention, "You mean he is an _exotic_?"

McCoy looked at Kirk and saw his Captain and friend was feeling as he was and then a movement on one of the registers made him look at the others then back at Kirk just as a strange sound like a person trying to say "No." while being strangled came from the intercom unit. Then that one word in that voice, " **McCoy.** "


	8. Chapter 8

Although Kirk could remember seeing McCoy move quickly before he could not remember seeing him move so fast and give orders to all around so quickly. "Jim, keep our guests here, Medical Angus team at the ready now, on my way, Spock."

There was a strange sudden change in the three men with him and Kirk shook his head, "Doctor McCoy took the disappearance of the First Officer very hard. Still has reactions like that as the First Officer would use just his surname more often than his rank." To himself he hoped his friends would forgive his slight misrepresentation of their relationship but he looked at the three men and saw the slow acceptance of what he said. He had seen the look on McCoy's face and heard it in Spock's voice, something was happening. He stilled his urge to rush in as his training and the methods Spock had shown him over the years took control.

In the Intensive Care Unit Spock had heard the exchange between Jim and the others and seen no change in Angus till the aide spoke and then had seen his eyes move sightly and a slight change in his breathing pattern. When the aide said exotic there had been rapid eye movement and then he had said a strangled, no, more a frightened "No." as though he recognized the voice. It was almost instinctual that he called out for the one person who could help. As he expected the doctor was there almost immediately.

McCoy was in Intensive Care by the time he had taken a second breath and found what he feared, Spock unsure of what to do and his patient still clearly still lost. When he looked back at Spock he paused, maybe his patient was not as lost as they thought. "What happened?"

"He showed a slight reaction to hearing the aide's voice and he reacted verbally when the aide said exotic. Almost a reaction of fear. Perhaps something from his past as I can recall nothing from the recent events that could cause it."

McCoy looked back down at his patient as he recalled what he and Jim had been talking about after watching the video recording, and how he had not told Jim how that man with the tattoo on his arm had the same build and posture of the aide. He looked from his patient to the silent Vulcan and felt the war within himself as he debated what to do next. He knew what he wanted to do, to confront that aide but he knew to do that would only further traumatize his patient. For now it could wait as it was clear Angus was fighting to hold onto reality and that Spock was, despite all the protesting to the contrary, feeling a conflict of emotions as well. McCoy shook his head, the eye movements, or lack of, of both men showed so much. Angus's eye movement and breathing reflected his fear and McCoy wanted to get him back to a mild form of peace. Spock's totally fixed look at Angus reflected so many of those emotions the Vulcan would so often proclaim he did not experience.

McCoy reached out and filled a hypospray with the sedative he had been giving Angus and relaxed as he saw how it almost immediately took effect. After he put down the hypospray and adjusted the therma-blanket covering Angus he lightly and only for a moment did McCoy place a hand on his Vulcan friend's shoulder and gave a slight squeeze, "He'll sleep again for a time, Spock. I would suggest you do the same but know it would be wasted advice so I will just ask you to rest. I will get rid of our visitors and let you know when you can get to your quarters undetected."

Slowly Spock became aware of McCoy's presence. His mind had been trying to recall all he had heard while on the planet and he knew he had heard the word "exotics" used to refer to those different to the local inhabitants but just when and where he was not certain. He was aware that the Neuronillaudto had effected his memories of those days but they were slowly emerging from the maze as he had not had the amount sufficient enough to totally block access to his mind. He looked at McCoy and saw the concern in the blue eyes, "That would be greatly appreciated, Doctor. I feel in the need of some rest."

Almost immediately McCoy's curiosity was piqued, "Remembering things, Spock?"

"A form of remembering, Doctor. Vulcans tend to unconsciously retain information about their surroundings that may or may not ever be called upon. My recollections of events that transpired after I was initially rendered unconscious are only now beginning to coalesce. I am more than indebted to Angus for getting me when he did as another two doses of Neuronillaudtoto would have ensured I had no recall of my past, that I would have no access to my mind, and that I would do little more than exist and obey. A period of rest in my quarters would be of assistance."

"I won't be long."

Kirk had finished showing the Ambassador, the Admiral and his aide around the ship and had noticed how the Admiral and his aide had often exchanged looks since Bones had said Spock's name. He could not quite figure it out but there was something wrong. While the three went to their respective quarters Kirk did a quick scan of Admiral Winters' record and noted he had, in deed, been to planet many times with his aide over the last four standard years. Not wanting to believe what he was thinking he checked the rosters of the two ships Winters had been a captain on and noted that each time he was there some crew members were reported as missing and the reason given for his return to the planet was to attempt to find his former crew. Feeling the chill in him growing as he was piecing together a new image of a highly regarded Admiral Kirk turned off the computer and tried to calm himself.

Having checked that the three visitors were in their quarters McCoy notified Spock and then poured himself a small drink and thought over all that had happened. The reaction Angus had could have been to do with what happened with Spock or had taken place years ago. His patient was so trapped in his mind it could be anything but it was, he silently prayed that the gods would protect and forgive him, logical that it was to do with something that had occurred down there with Spock. He had been reluctant to give Angus the sedation but he clearly needed it and he had seen too much blame about the face of his Vulcan friend as he had looked down at Angus.

How he hoped the special being would realize that there was nothing he was to blame for, nothing at all. About the eyes he had seen his friend was starting to remember something, he just hoped that whatever it was the Vulcan would come to him or Kirk if he needed help dealing with whatever it was he was remembering.

He finished his drink and walked into the Intensive Care Unit to stand for a moment by the bed. From his office he could see the bed and the desk monitors gave him all the information he needed but he wanted Angus to know he was not alone, that they were there waiting for him to come back from wherever his mind had taken him. First he brush Angus's hair into place, wiped his face, then took his hand in his own, "Now I would understand if you wanted to slip away from what you have been through, from the physical pain you will be in for some time to come, but that blasted Vulcan would not. He is having a rough time accepting all you did to get him back to us and, as usual, blaming himself. And the Captain feels so guilty about what he did to you by attacking yu the way he did. But you rest and decide what you want to do. I will stay with you till I am needed elsewhere."

In the quiet of his quarters Spock allowed himself to relax the Vulcan way and allow the memories the drugs had dulled slowly surface. While most was clear he could not clearly see the face of the man who had first had him nor any of the others. The only face that was clear was Angus's. He could not explain it but he felt again that unusual feeling of being safe when he recognized Angus. Despite the effect of the Neuronillaudto he had been given some part of his mind had registered that he was in danger and Angus would save him. The events of the four days came back to him from seeing the aide fall beside him and then the pain in his back to being on the craft watching Angus slowly mentally retreat into whatever world his mind had gone.

Only as he recalled the events did he realize he had been watching Angus slowly get to that state as for four days he had be pretend to be a person so antithetical to himself in almost every way when outside of the room and even in the room apart from the shelter of sheets that it had to have some effect on him. It was behind those sheets, that screen from the recorders, that Angus would momentarily stop pretending while he tended to his needs, while he took care of his bodily needs and helped purge the drugs from his systems. In the craft, after Angus had set the message on repeat send, he watched him slowly mentally go into whatever place his mind held him. He blamed himself for the way Jim had attacked Angus when they arrived as he had taken some time to accept he was safe, he was home. He had been responsible not only for the mental state Angus was in but also his physical state.

He had seen how Angus had been aware of the word "exotics" but wondered if he had also heard the voice before as he did not recognize it. It and been just a voice and no physical body to connect it with, just as down there it had been just voices and hands while he had been under the influence. No accent nor speech pattern that was any different from so many others. There were so many possible reasons for Angus's reaction as he knew the man had a long and varied career and many encounters saving others that it could be one of a multitude of possibilities. He would have to wait for Angus to return.

Jim's unease about their guests was almost palpable and he had to admit there was something about the way both the Admiral and his aide had watched him that made him, if he were to acknowledge it, what humans would call uncomfortable. There was that and their knowledge of the planet that was more in-depth than was on the known records. While the Ambassador and the Admiral had gone with Jim to meet with the leaders the aide had gone with him and had been attacked before he was, he had seen him fall.

And then there was the Doctor. McCoy seemed to have watched him with more than his usual medical scrutiny as though looking for something else, as though he was uncertain about something that he had seen or heard earlier.

Having reached a decision he contacted McCoy, "Doctor, could you and the Captain come to my quarters at your earliest convenience."

"Are you," concern was in his friend's voice.

"I have questions I believe you two may share as well as being able to answer."

"I'll get Jim." to Spock it sounded as though the good doctor had been expecting him to call and say he had questions. Over the years he had come to realize that despite how illogical the man seemed at times, largely due to his lack of emotional control, McCoy was extremely astute with exceptional insight regarding others. The reply also gave more credence to his belief that the good doctor had either seen or heard something that puzzled him.

McCoy was pleased that his Vulcan friend had obviously recovered yet concerned that, despite his protests about not having emotions, some of the recollections may have greatly upset him. He walked casually onto the bridge and over to Kirk, "If you have a moment, Captain, I need to discuss a patient with you."

As Kirk stood Scotty took the center seat and there was not mistaking the looks that were exchanged around the bridge, they all knew the patient would be Spock.

All three stood looking at one another when they got to Spock's quarters and finally McCoy said, "You said you had some questions, Spock."

For a moment Spock was quiet as he looked at his two friends not certain exactly how to broach the subject. He knew that Jim had seen a recording of the sale and it was clear that McCoy must have as well. Perhaps there was something they would remember seeing that would help. "Am I correct that you both saw what took place there?"

"Yes, Spock, but we could not identify anybody if that is what you want to know." Kirk looked from Bones to his Vulcan friend. "You have to know Officer Wishart did all he could to reveal at least one of the men involved."

Spock nodded and looked at his friends, "I suspected he would make an attempt to identify those involved. I would imagine that those involved are skilled at not being distinguished in any way so that they would be like all the others and difficult to identify."

"Yes, that man he grabbed. What was it he said? Something about exotics." McCoy was still puzzling over his patient's apparent reaction to the word 'exotics' and was sure there was a connection. He had worked on the man often enough to know how he would react. There had to be a connection.

"That is a bit of a stretch, Bones. You even said that the tattoo that man had was common when I first mentioned it."

An idea the knew his two friends would not like was forming in McCoy's mind, "I know but he saw the man better than we did."

"And it is trapped in his chaotic mind, Bones. There is no telling what he might know, might remember, but as you have said he is lost in so many personas and has experienced so much it will all be mixed. With professional care in Starfleet's best hospital for mental disorders he might remember something but as he is,"

"He is not going to any hospital. If we are unable to assist him on the Enterprise we will take him to the Vulcan healers." There was total authority in the Vulcan voice as he looked at his two human friends. As he looked at Kirk he saw agreement and when he looked at McCoy he saw the man was deep in thought, that he was trying to find a way to say something. Too many times he had seen that look on the man's face not to recognize it. "You disagree, Doctor?"

"No, I agree that the Vulcan healers would be more likely to be able to reach him than doctors at Starfleet's best hospitals."

Spock looked more intensely at McCoy and raised an eyebrow, "And yet you are questioning the correct action to take?"

Blue eyes looked directly at him, "I know the **action** **I would take** but both you and Jim would **think me insane**."


	9. Chapter 9

There was no mistaking the bewilderment that was on Jim Kirk's face when McCoy looked at his Captain and friend. Bewilderment and concern, "Bones?"

As McCoy looked at his Vulcan friend he saw acceptance and realized that what had sounded like a question had been, in fact, a statement. Damn! That blasted Vulcan knew him too well. There was only acceptance on that face that so many said was inscrutable. "You are basing this action on what happened earlier, on how Angus reacted to either the word exotic or the voice."

McCoy nodded, "Or both."

"And exactly what action, Doctor McCoy, would you take?"

McCoy rocked on his heels for a moment as he looked at his two closest friends and knew he had dealt with his own devils about his decision and only hoped they would see the, heaven help him, logic in the action. "I would wait till Angus was remotely aware as he seemed to be before and then bring the three guests into the Intensive Care Unit and face the facts. And before you say anything, Spock, I am aware of the risk of Angus going deeper into the world he is in."

Kirk was stunned and looked at Spock to see his First Officer momentarily close his eyes, then look at him before looking at McCoy, "You are also aware that it could be what he needs to help him come back to us?"

"Are both of you mad?", Kirk was not sure which of his two friends to look at as the thought of what could happen if they did what McCoy wanted to do both worked and did not work frightened him. It would either bring Wishart back to them or push him right over into that world they would never get him back from. There was no real proof that any of their guests had anything to do with what happened although what he had read about the Admiral caused him to wonder. But the risk to Wishart was almost too much for him to dwell on. It was bad enough that his officer's mind was in the state it was but that officer's severe physical injuries were all his doing, he had attacked him without warning or cause.

"Captain, the Doctor and I are both of sound mind and oddly are on agreement on this matter. Officer Wishart's physical condition has not greatly changed but he did have a reaction to hearing the word 'exotics', hearing that voice, or both. I think you know it is the only way to eliminate our guests from the suspicion both Doctor McCoy and I share. Do you not have any suspicions?"

How did he admit to being suspicious of the actions of the Admiral and his aide after what the aide had said and what he had read on the Admiral's record? On the surface the Admiral was the ideal for StarFleet but there was something now at the back of his mind wondering why he had visited the planet so often and how he had lost crew. Surely the Admiral should have told him that earlier as a courtesy. It had annoyed him that he had had to act as a shuttle again and now to suspect that those he had shown such consideration and courtesy to could have been behind what happened to Spock and who knew how many others. He was not sure of how he would react if they had been behind what had happened not just to Spock but to Officer Wishart.

"Jim?" McCoy's voice made him aware of how long he had been thinking of how to answer Spock's question.

"I did not have any suspicions till I read Admiral Winter's record and saw that every time he had been to the planet crew went missing. I do not want to think what I am thinking."

"Captain, do you agree or disagree that what we propose is the right thing to do?"

"I agree with needing to know but we are risking the mind of an officer."

"Jim," Spock moved so that he stood in front of his friend and looked into hazel eyes, wanting his friend to know and feel the truth, "I am very aware of what is at risk, I am also aware of the risks he took and gained some understanding as to how he thinks. I believe that he would agree with this action."

For seventy-eight point nine one seconds he looked at his so very Human friend before he saw acceptance and the slight nod.

"How do you suggest we do this?"

"I will let you two know when he is back in that state and,"

"I will be in the room with him as well, Doctor. Being Humans their reaction to seeing me alive and on the ship will cause reactions beyond their control. I will also be there for him as he may be confused as he was with me as his mind started to slid away and I may be able to prevent it this time."

For a moment McCoy just looked at his friend and saw the truth, the words the Vulcan could not, would not, say. Only having known the man for as long has he had allowed him to see the debt that Spock felt he owed Angus although to admit it would be to openly admit emotions, "Okay, I stand corrected, Spock. I will contact Jim when he is back in that state and we will see how he and they react. We will have to be ready for almost any reaction by any of them," he saw the slightest of nods and looked steadily into the dark eyes, "but you two will have to pay the most attention to them to see what their reactions are as my main attention will be on Angus. If I see the slightest indication of it taxing him, or even remotely suspect it is taxing him, in any way all the five of you will be out of that room so fast that none of you will,"

"Understood, Doctor." Spock had seen the depths of determination about the blue eyes that looked directly at him. Over the years he had witnessed how protective the man was with his patients.

"Right, then we will wait for you, Jim, to get them down here." McCoy paused as he looked at his Captain and friend, "What is it, Jim?"

"I am just unsure how I will react should they be involved with what happened to Spock."

"I believe you will be in better control of your emotions than they will, Jim, for you have not only our support but that of the crew of the Enterprise." Spock looked at Kirk and Kirk saw reassurance there. "It will be interesting to see how the Ambassador reacts as I have discovered little about his actual role within the Federation apart from him being designated as a special Ambassador. His career in Starfleet was almost on par with your own, Jim. You are the youngest Captain only by eleven weeks but he was the youngest Admiral and one who was sought by the Federation to be a special Ambassador."

"I had asked before he came aboard and was told the same, that he was a special Ambassador and would represent the Federation mainly on a fact-finding mission."

The two looked at each other for a moment, each knowing there was something about the Ambassador that they had not been told or found out about that was to Kirk annoying and to Spock intriguing. Spock knew that special Ambassadors were totally neutral and often sent to possible trouble spots to help sort out disputes and in that area the man had a most impressive record. He recalled his father's few stories about the risks that special Ambassadors faced as they were on their own. Kirk was annoyed as he always felt uneasy when there were facts about people from the higher echelon that he was not told of. They both knew of all Ambassadors in the Federation that special Ambassadors are known to have the shortest careers as many are killed on duty as they were the first official ambassadors sent to engage with any newly discovered life forms and civilizations and often were not overly welcome.

Spock gave a slight nod, "As I stated, it will be interesting to see what his reactions will be."

Kirk nodded back then turned, "I'll go get them." As he walked away Kirk reflected on what his friend had said, he knew most of the Ambassador's history but had not realized that the higher echelon of the Federation had sought the man out to be a special Ambassador. He did know the man had encountered life forms they and others had but establishing goodwill between the Federation and those they encountered was bound to be tricky at times and to go alone showed both trust and, to a degree Kirk thought, total lunacy. The man did have an impressive record of being able to at least get a mutual agreement with many groups if nothing more.

When he informed the Admiral and his aide about being able to see the Intensive Care Unit they had been indifferent until the Ambassador had looked at the Admiral and simply said, "You did earlier ask to see the entire ship, does that not include the Intensive Care Unit? I did not hear you mention any exclusions. As this is the finest ship in the fleet I am interested in seeing it."

Kirk had looked at the man, there was something almost Vulcan about the way he had spoken, the way he had made it seem like they were not sincere in their request.

They walked into Sickbay and McCoy met them. "Gentlemen, you will see that our Intensive Care Unit is more advanced than found on most ships and far more advanced than the bearskins and rattles I am sure the Ambassador has seen used on some planets. If you will follow me."

Whatever reactions the three Starfleet officers had expected were more than shown on the faces of the Admiral and his aide, before the Admiral suddenly turned and looked at his aide who quickly said, "Mister Spock it is wonderful to see you again. I had heard you had been sold as an exotic slave."

Spock only glanced at the three men as he was watching Angus and saw how he was showing signs of agitation.

"You only heard that, or were you part of that?" Spock briefly looked at the man then back at Angus before gently placing a hand on his shoulder and quickly removed it as the pain and fear were too intense.

"How can you say that? I thought Vulcan's remembered things. I was also attacked."

"I recall seeing you fall but I did not see you being attacked."

In the momentary silence as the aide glared at Spock an almost whisper that was both pain and panic said, "My property. Arm. Bruised. Three. Thumb, middle, little." Spock instantly looked down and saw a moment of clarity in the eyes before Angus slipped back into that world he was still trapped in.

"Clearly delusional. I've never seen him,"

"Then you will not mind showing your arms, will you?" McCoy had looked at the readings and at Spock who gave him the slightest shake of his head.

"No problem at all," and the aide rolled up a sleeve and they saw the tattooed word HUMAN. "No bruises."

"Your other arm." there was something in the Ambassador's tone that made the three Enterprise officers look at him and both Kirk and McCoy thought his face as unreadable as a Vulcan's but Spock saw an unusual controlled rage and had seen something in how the Ambassador had been when he first saw Angus that made him wonder if he had met Angus before.

"I told you," the aide looked at the Admiral who looked confident.

"Just show them your arm."

The aide revealed his arm to just above the tattooed BEING. "See, no bruises."

"All of your arm, if you do not mind." Kirk remembered how he had seen the firm grip on the man's upper arm in the recording but it would have to have been very firm to have left bruises.

When he pushed the sleeve up three bruises appeared and McCoy reached out and placed his hand over them: his thumb, middle finger, and little finger matching where a slightly larger hand gripping the arm would be. There was a moment of total panic on the aide's face.

"He could have been grabbed at any time while down there. You saw how rough some areas could be."

"We also saw a recording of the sales and saw Officer Wishart grip a man who went up to him after the sales and reached out to touch Mister Spock. A man with a very similar build, the same tattoo." Kirk was finding it difficult to control himself. "When you were here earlier and used the word "exotics" Officer Wishart had a mild reaction,"

"You two, out, now!" the murderous tone matched the look on the Ambassador's face and Spock realized that his assumption that the man knew Angus got more credence.

Like two terrified children the Admiral and his aide left the room behind the Ambassador who paused for just a moment to look back at Angus and the three Enterprise officers all saw and each of them knew and understood that look. McCoy and Kirk then realized as Spock had already assumed that there was some connection between their patient and the Ambassador.

McCoy quickly checked his patient and saw all readings had returned to what was the acceptable normal for his physical condition then followed his two friends out to where the Ambassador stood staring at the other two. What surprised Kirk was the change in the man's demeanor, before it had been murderous now it was a grim determination. McCoy noticed how the Ambassador now seemed more relaxed and confident in a frightening way. Spock looked from the Ambassador to the Admiral and his aide and saw for a moment the hunter and the prey and yet there was something about the hunter he could not discern, something he could not name.

There was a moment of silence then the Ambassador looked at Kirk and Kirk saw a man determined and driven, "Captain Kirk, Doctor McCoy, and Mister Spock I believe an apology is owed to you. You were not told the full truth as to why I was on your ship. I do not know if you were even informed that I am what is termed a special Ambassador."

"No, we were not informed although we have dealt with Ambassadors before without knowing their full names or responsibilities. We understand that we will be told what we need to know from StarFleet Command." Kirk looked at the man and saw him look right back at him.

"Of all the hundred and ninety-eight special, special Ambassadors I was deliberately sent on this trip when it was known that Admiral Winters had requested the Enterprise to once again go to a planet with no fixed relationship with the Federation and a planet where non-Human crew members had gone missing." The Ambassador looked from Kirk to the two officers who seemed shaken and unsure of what was happening. "As a special Ambassador I was able to achieve the main objective of having them join with us although they had to agree to terms that will change some of their formal ways."

"If you do not mind me saying, Sir, you said you are a specialist special Ambassador. If memory such a role has a higher mortality rate than a special Ambassador and the specialists are usually exceptionally highly skilled in at least two other fields." Spock looked at the man who looked at him.

"Being the son of an ambassador you would know that, Mister Spock. I am highly skilled in covert investigation, silent languages, and unarmed combat."

"Co, covert investigation?", finally the Admiral spoke and then seemed to back away as the Ambassador turned slightly to look at him.

"I am sure you have heard of covert investigations and know the powers given to those who carry out covert investigations for either the Federation or StarFleet, or, as in my case for this exercise, both?"

A blend of reality and fear seemed to shape the faces of both the Admiral and his aide as he Ambassador turned and looked at Spock, "I deeply regret what you must have experienced, Mister Spock, but as soon as he demanded the Enterprise it was decided I should go along to watch the two of them as well as facilitate membership of the planet. It seems you were taken while I was in meetings. That shall be dealt with should they survive the trip back to Headquarters."

Kirk was momentarily stunned by the facts he was learning and the words should they survive made him speak, "They will be perfectly safe on the ship, Sir."

"I have no doubt of that, Captain." Another reply that puzzled Kirk even as he kept watching the man he reached out and ordered Security to take the Admiral and his aide to the cells. Not once did the Ambassador look away from him and he saw the approval there

"I am sure you have heard of covert investigations and know the powers given to those who carry out covert investigations for either the Federation or StarFleet, or, as in my case for this exercise, both?"

A blend of reality and fear seemed to shape the faces of both the Admiral and his aide as he Ambassador turned and looked at Spock, "I deeply regret what you must have experienced, Mister Spock, but as soon as he demanded the Enterprise it was decided I should go along to watch the two of them as well as facilitate membership of the planet. It seems you were taken while I was in meetings. That shall be dealt with should they survive the trip back to Headquarters."

Kirk was momentarily stunned by the facts he was learning and the words should they survive made him speak, "They will be perfectly safe on the ship, Sir."

"I have no doubt of that, Captain." Another reply that puzzled Kirk even as he kept watching the man he reached out and ordered Security to take the Admiral and his aide to the cells.

Not even as the Admiral and his aide left the room and the Admiral suddenly turned to face his aide flaring, " **You fool**! You said he was dealt with! You said it was as easy as the others! **You said there was no way anybody would know**." did the Ambassador look away from him and he saw the approval there.

Damn. Kirk kept looking at the Ambassador. The man was the best he had seen in such a role and he had seen and dealt with many who found just being an ambassador difficult without having the extra duties that being a special ambassador clearly entailed. He had been so professional and distant throughout the whole ordeal and yet just for just a moment in the Intensive Care Unit there had been a strange look on the man's face when he saw Officer Wishart.

"You could not have prevented what happened to me without revealing your given assignment. What I experienced, Sir, was unpleasant but would have been worse had Officer Angus Wishart not intervened as and when he did." Spock walked closer to the Ambassador, "If I may be so bold to ask but you have met him before, have you not?"

The answer was on the man's face before he said, "Briefly, about six years ago, we, we met."

An eyebrow raised as Spock glanced at Kirk then back at the Ambassador, "As you stated earlier I am the son of an ambassador and I find it unusual that you would remember a person you met briefly six years ago."

McCoy had joined them and had just stood and watched what was going on, seeing again how the Ambassador had looked at his patient. Six years ago. There had been something on his patient's records about an event six year ago that had taken him eight weeks of intensive physiotherapy to recover from. All his superficial and intermediate muscles had recovered long before his deep muscles and there was a note that it had been his insistence of doing more than medically advised that he got full mobility back to StarFleet standard in that time. No mention was made as to how he had sustained the injuries but McCoy realized he was looking at who was involved.

"Oh, I don't know, Spock." McCoy rocked on his heels as he looked at the Ambassador, "You'd likely remember **somebody who saved your life**." McCoy glanced at Spock then back at the Ambassador and saw the truth in the flicker of surprise.

-##-

So many books to read, letters to write, gardens to get ready for spring and then these. Hope all is well with all out there. Will get back and finish this with next chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Be


	10. Chapter 10

"What do you base that idea on, Doctor McCoy." The Ambassador looked at McCoy and for a moment the doctor had his doubts, thought he had seen what was not there. "I am sure that Captain Kirk, like so many other commanding officers, could not readily name every officer who has died under his command in the line of duty which, in effect, saved his life and his career."

McCoy again rocked on his heels. No, he had been right. The man was deflecting. "You mentioned six years and six years ago Officer Wishard underwent eight weeks of intensive physiotherapy for severe trauma to all his muscles. You also were the one to insist the Admiral's aide expose his upper arm, as though you knew there would be those bruises there. Now I have not accessed your records, Sir, so do not know what he did but I am sure that you are part of whatever caused those injuries."

"And you are so certain just because of two events occurring six years ago? As to the aide, he had not hesitated to expose his other upper arm so it was easy to assume he was hiding something."

"I must agree with Doctor McCoy, Sir." Spock looked from McCoy to Kirk and then the Ambassador. "I base this reasoning not only on the six year factor you are attempting to, I believe the Human term is down-play, but also when you entered the Intensive Care Unit and saw me you immediately looked at the bed and there was an undeniable look of recognition about your face when you saw him as thought you expected him to be there. Is there a reason for that?"

The Ambassador looked at each of them, at the door to the Intensive Care Unit then at Spock and the Vulcan saw him relax as he sighed, "I know Vulcans do not drink as we Humans do, Mister Spock, but I need a drink while I talk of that time. Is there some place we four can go?"

A few minutes later they were all sitting in McCoy's office with the three Humans each with a glass of McCoy's special medicine and Spock with a non-alcoholic drink.

"You are right, you are both right, in that I did have an encounter with Angus Wishart six years ago. It was my last trip on my ship as Captain. We had been ordered into a region with another starship to try and halt a war. The other Captain and I beamed down along with not only security but also medical and engineering specialists to help the people. The other Captain and I, with two security officers, went to meet with the leaders but on our way to the meeting the security officers were killed and we were abducted, gagged, bound back to back, and dangled over a cliff on some braided rope that we knew would eventually fray with our combined weight. One of the engineering officers from the other ship had seen us and the security guards walking and, as the other Captain later told me, said he had an odd feeling about it when he saw some men walking the same way and when the men walked back he finished what he was doing, told a fellow officer to give him one standard hour then to follow where he went. He found us, most have realized that the rope would not hold us much longer, used some of the rope they had left and his uniform pants to secure his legs to a tree, and leaned over the side and gripped one of my arms and one of the other Captain's arms in a grip I was sure would crush my bones, only said we had to hang around quietly together for an hour. It was just over an hour later when help arrived and I doubt if I will ever forget seeing him laying on the ground silent, in obvious pain, and uncontrollably shaking."

Spock looked at the man in a way Kirk knew meant he knew something, "The rebel conflict on Halop Ten. Captain Pike was the other Captain. All he said after he returned was that there had been a situation and two security officers had been killed and a third officer injured. That truce still stands."

Kirk looked at the man, "I have not heard of you spending any time with any of the crew since you came aboard. Did he know you were aboard?"

"I didn't. Captain Pike said that he was the sort of officer who would just see his actions as the only ones he could take and to thank him would only embarrass him, said he was almost like his Vulcan officer in that regard."

The Ambassador looked back at Spock, "Pike did let me know when he had fully recovered and when I was informed about a missing crew member apart from you I knew in my gut it was him and that you were with him or he would not have come back." He then looked at McCoy, "What is his status?"

"His physical injuries will heal but it is too early to tell about his mental health. In order to save Mister Spock he had to be a creature that was the total opposite of his core for four days that he is trapped between it and who he is, between his past and present. We are taking him to the best facility in StarFleet for a full evaluation and Mister Spock has said he will take him to Vulcan, if necessary, to get treatment."

The Ambassador nodded and slightly shook his head, "Pike said it took him over a week to fully mentally return to normal duties. Said he seemed to go to some place deep inside himself after he had gripped us and said we would have to hang around quietly as he never said another word. Also contacted me later to say his bruises had all healed and mine were fading. Those three on the aide's arm let me know that they had been intentional, he had left them as a mark for us."

Spock kept looking at the man nut gave a slight nod, "He seldom spoke to me, he seemed in a different place, a different person. To hold the weight of two Humans for an hour would have required not only physical strength. And while I do not believe your gut has any cognisance I do believe that you felt certain, from your own experience of being lost and him finding you, that he would find me. Although I fail to understand his reasoning, although it may be due to his past in some way, I do find I have to agree with your assumption that had he not found and rescued me he would not have returned to the Enterprise. You can be assured he could get no better care than that of our Chief Medical Officer and the personnel in his department."

"I have no question at all about the care he will receive, Mister Spock. Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me I have a report to file and prepare for the Tutaki to take myself and those two back to StarFleet headquarters. I will need a recorded deposition from the three of you about what transpired on the ship and on the planet. When Officer Wishart is fully recovered, and if Doctor McCoy believes it will not cause him further psychological trauma, then a deposition from him as well as now that we have these two we want to make it clear of all members of the Federation and all personnel in StarFleet that the activities such as they were engaged in will not be tolerated. I trust I will see you all again in the Transporter Room."

After the Ambassador had gone the three looked at each other and finally McCoy said, "I could give them some suggestions as to what to do with and to those two."

Kirk had smiled, "So could I, Bones, but I have a feeling the Ambassador, having seen what it was like down there, what it would have been like for Spock, will have a few ideas that are just on the Human side of humane."

"Pity but I agree. Now I never met Captain Pike but I imagine he would have kept an eye on Officer Wishart."

"For once your imagination is correct, Doctor, although it is only now that I can understand why every time Officer Wishart was off the ship Captain Pike was always in the Transporter Room when he beamed aboard. I had believed it was because Officer Wishart could give a report devoid of Human emotionalism and just give the facts and a correct chronological pattern. Now I see there most likely was another element, a Human element, that saw him always there."

"If you two will excuse me I should go find out what our next orders are for after the Tutaki has taken our visitors."

"I shall go to the bridge, Captain. It was be most agreeable to be back there."

"And I will go check on our prime patient. If there is any change I will let you both know. He seemed to be to be a bit more lucid for those few moments but I could be wrong."

"You were not wrong, Doctor. For eleven point eight seconds Angus was lucid, was determined to let us know and then he slid back, perhaps not as far but as you like to say time will tell."

For the next twenty-nine hours things were routine on the ship.

When Spock had gone to the bridge he had been warmly welcomed back and then the crew had returned to their duties. Although he seemed unaffected by the emotionalism the Vulcan allowed himself to be aware of how his Human half felt, loved, by the others. On his way to the bridge he had passed other crew who had all given him what he knew was what his mother had long ago told him, a "Welcome home, glad to see you back." smile. Here, on the bridge, he had felt the relief seem to circle around the bridge crew.

In his quarters Kirk reflected on all that had happened and reread his report. It had been difficult not to express his thoughts about the Admiral and his aide but knew he had to stick to just the facts and, content with the final draft, sent it away then sat and felt himself fully relax for the first time since Spock had vanished. He stretched out on his bed and felt a peace seem to blanket him. All was well with the universe as Spock was home.

McCoy had fetched a big urn of black coffee and gone into the Intensive Care Unit, sat beside the bed, and looked at his patient. Eleven point eight seconds was an improvement. There was a part of the man who wanted to come back but McCoy could not stop wondering about the world he has slipped back into. How many other times had he been something, someone else, to save others? How much had he put his body, and mind, though for fellow officers? Damned fool was not part of Security.

"Bridge to Captain Kirk, the Tutaki is approaching. I will meet with you and our guests in the Transporter Room. Spock out." Kirk rolled of his bed and headed for the Transporter Room, it was going to be good to get back to routine.

In the Transporter Room the Admiral and his aide stood on the platform and all bravado seemed to have gone from both of them. A security guards stood at each end and for a moment Kirk looked at his Vulcan friend as they walked in and could see that Spock was likely thinking as he was, that the two security guards were just wanting either of the men to make the slightest move. The Ambassador turned and looked as Spock and Kirk walked in. "I would like to say it had all been a pleasant trip, Captain, but once we had them and Mister Spock back it was a pleasant. It was good to meet you both. I am pleased that Officer Wishart will be looked after and I am pleased he did not know I was there and saw him like that. You will not tell him,"

"No, he will not be told."

"Thank you I,"

"Captain Kirk and Mister Spock to Sick Bay."

The two men looked at one another and the Ambassador made a move toward the door before them then paused and looked at the security guards, "If either of them moves a millimeter stun them on maximum setting. If I may, Captain."

Kirk just nodded and the all but ran to Sick Bay where McCoy met them and stopped them from going into the Intensive Care Unit, "He's semi-lucid. Knows he's on the ship but wants to know that Spock is okay. I," McCoy looked at the floor then at Spock and the Vulcan saw pain on the man's face, "I told him I would have to check and would let him know."

"Would seeing me have a detrimental effect on him?"

"I do not know, Spock. I am sorry but it could push him further into that world or help him out of it."

The Vulcan looked from McCoy, to Kirk, to the Ambassador and slowly walked to the door to the Intensive Care Unit and looked through the window that McCoy had set on one-way. Angus lay on the bed with his eyes open and Spock saw the slight movement in his fingers. He was frightened and fighting. Without a word he walked into the room and over to the bed, gently taking hold of Angus's left hand. "Doctor McCoy said you wanted to see that I was safe and on the ship with you."

"Yes. Had to say sorry for touching you there. Vulcan do not like touch. Had to get drugs out and clean. Forgive. Thought I saw a Captain I saw with Captain Pike in here. Confused."

"There is nothing to forgive. You need to rest. I will come back later."

"I did not see that Captain?"

Spock looked at the man, "You have had visitors who wanted to make sure you were safe but you did not see that Captain. The only Captain who has been in to see you has been Captain Kirk. As you said, you have been confused. You rest and I will come back." As the man looked at him Spock remembered something he had read when he had gone over the man's records. "You rest and when I return I will bring you a lemon ginger chocolate biscuit even if Doctor McCoy may protest."

The smile on his face was reflected in Angus's voice as she closed his eyes, "Deal."

Spock walked back to where the others had remained and looked at McCoy, "I should have asked you first but I noted it was his favorite desert."

"That's fine, Spock, but he will have to have plenty of water with it as he is not ready yet for solid foods."

The Ambassador looked at Spock and said, "Thank you for what you said to him. I know that Vulcans do not lie and I was wrong to ask you to not tell him the truth." the man smiled, "I liked the way you dealt with it as you told him the truth while but did not let him know I had seen him."

"It was made easier as he did say he was confused."

"Now, gentlemen, I believe we left the Tutaki waiting for me." as the walked back to the Transporter Room the Ambassador looked at Kirk, "You know I so hope one or both of them made a move while we were gone. We have had doubts about so many disappearances of crew members and the items that they brought back which they sold and made themselves a nice retirement fund but we needed to trap them, to catch them, to have irrefutable proof. They will never be free."

The transfer went smoothly and as they watched the Tutaki moved away Kirk looked at his First Officer, "You sure you are okay, Spock?"

"I am fine, Jim."

"I'm the doctor here and I think we all need a good meal and a good night's sleep now that they are gone and Officer Wishart is going to recover."

An eye-brow arched, "You are certain he will recover, Doctor?"

"With my bearskins and rattles and your changing his diet and tap-dancing around the truth I am sure he will be just fine in time."

"And just when and how did I tap-dance around the truth?"

"You know perfectly well it was when you told him he had not seen the Ambassador."

"Really Doctor? If memory serves he did not mention an ambassador. He asked if he had seen a Captain and I told him the truth in that Captain Kirk has been the only Captain he has seen. I told him the truth, I did not tap-dance around it."

McCoy slowly calmed as he looked at his Vulcan friend, "You know, I believe you are right, Spock."

"Oh," Spock looked at McCoy and Kirk smiled as he looked on.

"Yes," McCoy smiled as he rocked on his heels, "I somehow have difficulty picturing you dancing at all, Spock, let alone tap-dancing, as dancing is an expression of emotion and is often an illogical reaction."

\- - - - - # - - - - -

A.N. COLD AND WET and may be away for some time as Spring starts next week and I have a garden to get sorted out and planted and a dog going to obedience and therapy dog training.


End file.
